UBPD

[chels93]

I just started Graduate School for Marriage and Family Therapy and came across the BPD. I struggled to understand growing up what exactly was "wrong" with my mother that caused her abuse and outrageous outbursts. Though I no longer live with my mom, her disorder still affects me and our relationship. I do not know how to appropriately set boundaries and handle her disorder especially when she thinks she is totally fine. Any suggestions?

[Kwamina]

Hi chels93

Welcome to bpdfamily!

BPD is a difficult disorder, but now that you know of it you at least have a possible explanantion for your mother's behavior.

I am sorry that your mother abused you and subjected you to outbursts. That's very difficult for a child to deal with. Many children of BPD parents find themselves struggling in their adult lives. Perhaps it can help you to take a look at the Survivor's Guide for Adults who suffered childhood abuse in the right-hand side margin of this board. This guide takes you from survivor to thriver through 3 major stages: 1. Remembering --> 2. Mourning --> 3. Healing.

You mention struggling with setting boundaries, are there perhaps also other things listed in the Survivor's Guide that you find yourself struggling with?

Setting and enforcing/defending boundaries is very important to protect yourself and preserve your own well-being. To help you with this, I've selected some resources about boundaries:

Setting Boundaries and Setting Limits

BOUNDARIES: Examples of boundaries

Take care