Did you let them dress you?

[Euler2718]

Seriously, early on the BPDgf said she had "concerns" which had to do with how often I combed my hair and that I wore T-shirts rather than shirts with collars. I didn't see the harm in conceding to her whims, although I personally was OK with myself, so I invited her to my house the next day and showed her my clothes and asked for her opinion. Afterwards I put on shirts with collars and also put a comb in my car.

Here's a funny thing: When I did it I said I was doing it to make her happy but she said she wanted me to do it for the *right* reasons -- so I got nailed for my motivations even when I changed the behavior, haha!

Did I do bad? Is this a boundary violation of some sort? Mostly, I wanted to make her happy, and it seemed a small thing. That's how the frog gets boiled, though.

I talked to someone normal about it later and it seemed that in a normal relationship, that might be something that was brought up, but only casually and not in a high stress way. She was sort of dissociating on the night she brought this up, so when she said "I have concerns" I thought "Oh No! Here comes the end of it all" (I never felt safe because I was never safe).

Eventually, the final "concern" was with my lack of acceptance of the full load of religious dogma her church espouses. I didn't budge on that item. It ended. But maybe someone else would have just to stay in the game.

[Confused?]

I actually was the one that tried to "dress her" so to say. She never dressed up ever. I don't mind that but a lot of times I wanted her to wear nicer clothes when we went out or went to family things. I spent a lot of money on clothes for her. She never wore any of it. She might have dressed up a handful of times in our 1.5 year relationship.