We are in the midst of the stress of preparing for a guardianship hearing for SS21, who has special needs. DH's ex (uBPD) filed for sole guardianship of SS21 and so the hearing is to determine if she will be sole, if DH and his ex will continue to be joint, or if DH will be sole. Here's a post about that
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=288949.0 . The hearing is next week.
Wading through the huge volume of documents preparing for the hearing has been almost a full-time job. I have been helping DH and his L by going through the documents to try to identify holes/misrepresentations in uBPD's stories. Years ago, DH said he would no longer take phone calls from his ex, which resulted in most of her communication being through email. There is good in that, including reduced drama and having records of what she said. The bad side is that she uses her emails as "facts": in other words, I said it in an email, therefore that is what happened. In fact, she has included a number of emails she sent to her past L in her filing, which has provided some interesting reading as we get to see how she positions things she has done with her own L. Not sure why her current L let her do this but can only imagine uBPD demanded it.
Going through all of the documentation, I finally had to do up a timeline to help us keep straight on what was happening when. We've had some pretty crazy stretches of time where lots was happening, and just relying on uBPD's emails isn't the best for knowing the whole story.
Regardless of who is the guardian going forward, I think we need a better system to track what was happening when. For example, it would have helped us now to know what DH was doing at certain times because if he didn't do something by email, we don't have a record. So if he called a support agency, we aren't sure unless it was also mentioned in an email. We don't expect this one hearing to be the end of things, unfortunately. If DH is sole guardian, she can file her concerns at any time. If she is sole, we expect her to exploit her position (e.g. block SS21 from seeing us, stopping him from finding work, etc.) If they continue as joint, the same old problems are likely.
Does anyone have ideas of how to keep some type of short summary of events that are happening so we could refer to it later? I don't see this as something we would use in court down the road (although if there is something that would work for that, I'd be interested in that too!) More just some way for us to track events and DH's side of things. Ideas?
