Can't sleep still angry

[JerryRG]

Laying here thinking what went wrong?

Hmmm OH? I remember!

She's bats**t crazy! Lol

Goodnight!

[sweetheart]

Hello JerryRG,

Does acceptance that your ex had a mental illness help any with what you are going through at the moment?

How are things day to day for you at the moment, what are you doing to look after yourself ?

I hope you got some sleep.

[JerryRG]

Hello sweetheart

It does help when I realize she has a complicated disorder and like everything else in our relationship I cycle from pity, to anger and resentment to doubting myself to pain and around again.

My days are up and down but nothing like the torrential rollar coaster I was on with her. Once addicted to chaos and excitement (adreniline) it takes time to relax and return to a normal way of life. They escalate the drama until it becomes an exhaustive futile race to maintain sanity let alone take care of my needs. They suck the life right out of you, if... .we allow it.

I hope I made some sense and I wish you all the best in your recovery.

[Itstopsnow]

I totally get what you are feeling! I think it's very normal in these types of relationships. They are so needy and demanding and they make us be all about them! On the beginning when they were crazy about us it was amazing! So much fun! But then they became increasingly demanding and pushy. Bossy and angry. Impulsive and exciting at the same time. Then it just goes down hill so fast! And we try to appease them by doing whatever they want to no avail.

When we finally breakup with them after finding out the horrible truth! We are left with an enormous void! I think greater void than the average relationship breakup! Because we were so engulfed in them and their needs, wants, and demands! We lose ourselves in them in a severely dysfunctional way! That's why it takes so long to recover. This is just my opinion though. He was my life for 18 months! All consuming, I know I'm better off and I feel better without him but it still hurts he could do all he did to me without batting an eye . To realize I didn't know him hurts so much still. I feel your grief and pain