Will it get better?

[Bubble]

My 16 year old daughter has BPD (although not diagnosed yet as this cannot be done until she is 18). Since she turned 16 things have gone from bad to worse.  Please someone tell me it gets better.  I am very supportive and am trying to just keep her safe but it is so hard at the moment.  The decisions she is making is so hard.  She lies all the time, she steals from me to buy weed.  She is always coming home late and sometimes not at all.  Her moods change from one minute to the next.  Can any of you offer me advice as to how I can help her to make better choices.  Everyone except me have turned their back on her but it is me she steals from and treats so badly.  She blames me for everything when all I do is forgive and try and get help.  It's so hard on everyone.  I know she doesn't mean it when she gets angry and aggressive and I give her as much love as I can when things are good.  I am really hoping as she gets older things will get better.  Thank you in advance for any help. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hello Bubbles,

Welcome to the Parenting board, we are happy to have you here with us.

I'm sorry to learn that your d16 is struggling with poor choices, it's so hard to watch our kids on a destructive and unhealthy path.

Do you have help with her? Is here Dad around to help support you and ease some of the load you are carrying? 

Trying to protect a teen in this day and age is so very difficult.  She needs to be in therapy and I understand that it is often times difficult to find proper treatment and have compliance from our kids to attend and participate .  Does she attend any therapy and if so what type of therapy is it? Do you sometimes participate with her in family therapy?

Does it get better?  Yes, it can get better, with treatment and a supportive, knowledgeable family working together to achieve positive change. 

I look forward to learning how to best support you and share information that will be helpful to you and your family.


lbjnltx

[esmaine]

So sorry to hear of your worries about your dd,    its very hard watching them make mistakes, sometimes dangerous ones.

I do not have any advice regarding that as all my efforts with my dd have failed, all I can say is look after yourself and set firm boundries now,

I wish I had set boundries alot sooner, my dd is 21 now but it all started when she was around 16 and this is the one thing I wish I had done,