And... she just ruined Mother's Day

[Big M]

Would not come out of her room, spent 28 total minutes with her mother today, presented gift and walked away.  Had to be forced to do two minor chores under threat of lost phone privileges, would not help her sister make lunch for her mother, and then ended the day with an instagram post insinuating that we are abusing her.  All this because, me, Dad, demanded that she 1) spend some time with her mother on Mother's Day, and 2) complete 2 minor chores that she'd been told to do a hundred times.  So I guess I "win", because I took the phone and computer, and she hasn't called Child Protective Services... .yet.   If I weren't living this sh*t, there's no way I'd believe it was real.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Giggy]

I'm sorry you are having these issues.  You are right you have to live it to know that it is actually true... .   

[landslide]

Couldn't agree with you more.  Mine ran away the night before and still hasn't come back.  There wasnt even conflict this time.  She is just utterly incapable of caring about anyone else.

[tristesse]

I have lived some horrific nightmarish times with own BPD D, now 32 years old, so I understand where you are coming from.

There is no justification for rude or insolent behavior, but I want you to remember that BPD is a really vile selfish illness, and the children who suffer this disorder, really believe the world is against them. It is also easier for them to react in a negative way to most situations, this way they avoid closeness and somebody hurting them. Most of the time a BPD will lash out and hurt the people that love them most, this is their self preservation technique, they will hurt you before you hurt them, because in their mind, you are out to get them. NO matter how may times you tell them otherwise, or how many ways you try to show them. They are also master manipulators, mostly unintentional, but sometimes on purpose.

   I think taking the phone and computer was a great form of discipline. I believe every bad unacceptable behavior needs a consequence, Because in life , that is how it works. so kudos to you for not giving in to the BPD. Hang in there, it can and does get better. if you look back on story form the beginning, you will see the progression, regression and progression again. Have faith and stay strong.

[Stela]

I'm sorry that happened.  It's an awful disease and I agree... .no one knows until they walk in our shoes, right?