Knowing my ex is miserable is bittersweet.

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Yep. Found out my ex is miserable, because the replacement didn't work out. Apparently she didn't want to be with her. This was the girl she flirted with and 'groomed' to take my place. If you've read my story then you know that I was involved with a poly relationship, and then monogamous one with her, while her ex-fiancee was triangulated. While someone's sadness shouldn't help me any, it's incredibly nice to get justice, even if it's in the form of my ex being single and alone. What I wished for after the relationship was for her to be alone and to be forced to take a GOOD look at herself. I was blamed for everything after she cheated and lied to me and it was incredibly damaging to me, and then on top of that she replaced me within days. Her tumblr is a series of pathetic and woe is me personal blogs about how alone and depressed she is, which actually does make me feel bad for her, but it just goes to show how ill she is. She went from happy to be talking to the replacement, content, 'wanting a gf', then to depressed because the replacement didn't work out. Now she has hit rock bottom and I do hope she doesn't hurt herself, or anything, but just to reflect. Now she is crying about how it would have been six years with her ex-fiancee, but it does upset me because she chose not to get back with her and stay with me. She refused to leave me and get back with her ex-fiancee, and now that her ex-fiancee is moved on and happy and I'm moving forward with healing, albeit at times slowly, she is alone. Just goes to show they are only happy as long as they have an attachment. I know some people with BPD are fine being alone, but not my ex. She NEEDS to be attached to someone.

Anyways, I'm continuing to move forward and yes it is validating because I was painted black because I confronted her about her lies and cheating. I feel this has given me a sense of closure. That I did all I could and it really was her illness, that it was really was her and not me. That until she gets help, she will always be this way. That her happiness is reliant on other people and that inside, there is nothing but misery. What a sad, sad existence. I do genuinely hope she gets help, but I can't lie and say I'm not happy the girl she cheated on me with doesn't want her, and the girl she tried to replace me with also doesn't want her. That she is for once, forced to face herself and hopefully her issues. I have no need to look any of her social media accounts anymore, and a user on here who I have developed a friendship with looks for me if I ask. But I think altogether I'm not going to look at all anymore. I know the truth now.

For anyone wondering if they change, or get better, or if their replacement is getting better treatment than you? Probably not.

[5tarla]

Yep. Found out my ex is miserable, because the replacement didn't work out. Apparently she didn't want to be with her. This was the girl she flirted with and 'groomed' to take my place. If you've read my story then you know that I was involved with a poly relationship, and then monogamous one with her, while her ex-fiancee was triangulated. While someone's sadness shouldn't help me any, it's incredibly nice to get justice, even if it's in the form of my ex being single and alone. What I wished for after the relationship was for her to be alone and to be forced to take a GOOD look at herself. I was blamed for everything after she cheated and lied to me and it was incredibly damaging to me, and then on top of that she replaced me within days. Her tumblr is a series of pathetic and woe is me personal blogs about how alone and depressed she is, which actually does make me feel bad for her, but it just goes to show how ill she is. She went from happy to be talking to the replacement, content, 'wanting a gf', then to depressed because the replacement didn't work out. Now she has hit rock bottom and I do hope she doesn't hurt herself, or anything, but just to reflect. Now she is crying about how it would have been six years with her ex-fiancee, but it does upset me because she chose not to get back with her and stay with me. She refused to leave me and get back with her ex-fiancee, and now that her ex-fiancee is moved on and happy and I'm moving forward with healing, albeit at times slowly, she is alone. Just goes to show they are only happy as long as they have an attachment. I know some people with BPD are fine being alone, but not my ex. She NEEDS to be attached to someone.

Anyways, I'm continuing to move forward and yes it is validating because I was painted black because I confronted her about her lies and cheating. I feel this has given me a sense of closure. That I did all I could and it really was her illness, that it was really was her and not me. That until she gets help, she will always be this way. That her happiness is reliant on other people and that inside, there is nothing but misery. What a sad, sad existence. I do genuinely hope she gets help, but I can't lie and say I'm not happy the girl she cheated on me with doesn't want her, and the girl she tried to replace me with also doesn't want her. That she is for once, forced to face herself and hopefully her issues. I have no need to look any of her social media accounts anymore, and a user on here who I have developed a friendship with looks for me if I ask. But I think altogether I'm not going to look at all anymore. I know the truth now.

For anyone wondering if they change, or get better, or if their replacement is getting better treatment than you? Probably not.

[Herodias]

I understand- any kind of validation we get does feel better. Like I felt better when his own Mother deleted him from her Facebook friends list... .It will be awhile before I know that this current gf and he break up, but I hope I don't care anymore... .

[Confused108]

Yep. Found out my ex is miserable, because the replacement didn't work out. Apparently she didn't want to be with her. This was the girl she flirted with and 'groomed' to take my place. If you've read my story then you know that I was involved with a poly relationship, and then monogamous one with her, while her ex-fiancee was triangulated. While someone's sadness shouldn't help me any, it's incredibly nice to get justice, even if it's in the form of my ex being single and alone. What I wished for after the relationship was for her to be alone and to be forced to take a GOOD look at herself. I was blamed for everything after she cheated and lied to me and it was incredibly damaging to me, and then on top of that she replaced me within days. Her tumblr is a series of pathetic and woe is me personal blogs about how alone and depressed she is, which actually does make me feel bad for her, but it just goes to show how ill she is. She went from happy to be talking to the replacement, content, 'wanting a gf', then to depressed because the replacement didn't work out. Now she has hit rock bottom and I do hope she doesn't hurt herself, or anything, but just to reflect. Now she is crying about how it would have been six years with her ex-fiancee, but it does upset me because she chose not to get back with her and stay with me. She refused to leave me and get back with her ex-fiancee, and now that her ex-fiancee is moved on and happy and I'm moving forward with healing, albeit at times slowly, she is alone. Just goes to show they are only happy as long as they have an attachment. I know some people with BPD are fine being alone, but not my ex. She NEEDS to be attached to someone.

Anyways, I'm continuing to move forward and yes it is validating because I was painted black because I confronted her about her lies and cheating. I feel this has given me a sense of closure. That I did all I could and it really was her illness, that it was really was her and not me. That until she gets help, she will always be this way. That her happiness is reliant on other people and that inside, there is nothing but misery. What a sad, sad existence. I do genuinely hope she gets help, but I can't lie and say I'm not happy the girl she cheated on me with doesn't want her, and the girl she tried to replace me with also doesn't want her. That she is for once, forced to face herself and hopefully her issues. I have no need to look any of her social media accounts anymore, and a user on here who I have developed a friendship with looks for me if I ask. But I think altogether I'm not going to look at all anymore. I know the truth now.

For anyone wondering if they change, or get better, or if their replacement is getting better treatment than you? Probably not.

You Go Girl! Don't feel a bit sorry because of what your ex is now going thru. It should happen to each and every one of them! Don't get me wrong I know these ppl are very mentally ill, but... In the same sense they at least I feel know Exactley what they are doing and don't give s rats a$$ who they hurt in the process!

[5tarla]

I understand- any kind of validation we get does feel better. Like I felt better when his own Mother deleted him from her Facebook friends list... .It will be awhile before I know that this current gf and he break up, but I hope I don't care anymore... .

Oh wow. He must be bad if his own mom doesn't want to tolerate him.

Yep. Found out my ex is miserable, because the replacement didn't work out. Apparently she didn't want to be with her. This was the girl she flirted with and 'groomed' to take my place. If you've read my story then you know that I was involved with a poly relationship, and then monogamous one with her, while her ex-fiancee was triangulated. While someone's sadness shouldn't help me any, it's incredibly nice to get justice, even if it's in the form of my ex being single and alone. What I wished for after the relationship was for her to be alone and to be forced to take a GOOD look at herself. I was blamed for everything after she cheated and lied to me and it was incredibly damaging to me, and then on top of that she replaced me within days. Her tumblr is a series of pathetic and woe is me personal blogs about how alone and depressed she is, which actually does make me feel bad for her, but it just goes to show how ill she is. She went from happy to be talking to the replacement, content, 'wanting a gf', then to depressed because the replacement didn't work out. Now she has hit rock bottom and I do hope she doesn't hurt herself, or anything, but just to reflect. Now she is crying about how it would have been six years with her ex-fiancee, but it does upset me because she chose not to get back with her and stay with me. She refused to leave me and get back with her ex-fiancee, and now that her ex-fiancee is moved on and happy and I'm moving forward with healing, albeit at times slowly, she is alone. Just goes to show they are only happy as long as they have an attachment. I know some people with BPD are fine being alone, but not my ex. She NEEDS to be attached to someone.

Anyways, I'm continuing to move forward and yes it is validating because I was painted black because I confronted her about her lies and cheating. I feel this has given me a sense of closure. That I did all I could and it really was her illness, that it was really was her and not me. That until she gets help, she will always be this way. That her happiness is reliant on other people and that inside, there is nothing but misery. What a sad, sad existence. I do genuinely hope she gets help, but I can't lie and say I'm not happy the girl she cheated on me with doesn't want her, and the girl she tried to replace me with also doesn't want her. That she is for once, forced to face herself and hopefully her issues. I have no need to look any of her social media accounts anymore, and a user on here who I have developed a friendship with looks for me if I ask. But I think altogether I'm not going to look at all anymore. I know the truth now.

For anyone wondering if they change, or get better, or if their replacement is getting better treatment than you? Probably not.

You Go Girl! Don't feel a bit sorry because of what your ex is now going thru. It should happen to each and every one of them! Don't get me wrong I know these ppl are very mentally ill, but... In the same sense they at least I feel know Exactley what they are doing and don't give s rats a$$ who they hurt in the process!

Thanks a lot. It's been almost two months since we broke up and I was terrified that I would be sad and heartbroken while she was happy riding off into the sunset with my replacement. It was killing me to think that someone could do that to me and have no consequences for their actions. Like, I give someone my all and get betrayed, and THEY get to be happy? Guess not haha.

[SoMadSoSad]

Lucky you. My ex is still happy as ever with my replacement and I'm still wondering how he can make her go from wanted to spend every second with me to not wanting to see me ever again in less than a week. Guess I'm the rare case where my replacement was an upgrade.

[WoundedBibi]

Of course it hurts when they have a replacement. I would have been hurt too if there would have been a replacement. I probably will be hurt if I hear in the future he has a new gf.

But in the end it doesn't matter.

Because they just look happy because they are on an idealization high or you're looking at a carefully choreographed social media profile. Nobody posts their unhappiness on social media. PwBPD are not happy. They will never be. When they go through years of therapy they might have a shot at it.

There are no consequences for them. When this relationship fails too, they just move on to the next source of supply.

And it doesn't matter because your healing is what this journey is about. Not their next failure.

[JerryRG]

They are never truly happy, my ex puts up a front but she's always lived in a constant state of fear and emptiness and can only survive on the good emotions from others, many people watching her say my ex is so sad (not because she wants me) but because this is her fate, her illness, her curse. She finds nice guys and mirrors them then devalues them and destroys each and every relationship.

Without years of therapy and or recovery to get some perspective on her addictions/demons she will fail again and again. Remember all the red flags, the crazy behaviours? Those were REAL, those are REAL and unless their new bfs are all powerful and can cure a lifetime of BPD issues nothing changes except the weather.

My ex had a bump with her new bf a few months ago, my pastor seen it on fb and he said, "she will contact you soon". The very next day she text me and wanted to meet.

There is only one thing we do control and that is ourselves, I finally made a choice to kick her butt out and now my CHOICE is to do what's best for me, and that is KEEPING HER OUT!

I must add this, her new bf probably thinks he is a God because as in my case I saved this dear poor child from certain death, and her new bf is saving her from her (pretend cancer) and of coarse now saved from me the latest big bad wolf.

My ex loved to bask in my attention and adoration and god like security I provided her until... .it came time for her to start holding up her end of the relationship and all I asked was for her to simply help herself and take the steps to get well.

That was too much for me to ask so I said, fine then I'm done playing god. She found another to save her and when he grows tired of giving and giving and getting "                             " in return he will come to the same conclusion we all have.

Well let's hope he isn't as stubborn and blind as me but hey, I'm still alive and each day I can grow but only if I face reality right in the face and walk into fear and conqure my character defects.

2 years in AA and 3 in Alanon and I'm only beginning to see my faults and I'm not A PERSON WITH BPD

[JerryRG]

One more thing I forgot to add,

What does the replacement have that we don't have?

A whole lot of trouble just ahead.

Oh and well said WoundedBibi

Another point someone brought up and I cannot remember who said it but, we were the ones who could love them and see past their faults and it was us who brought them joy and peace not the other way around. We tried to open their eyes to our world and they insist on staying in theres. I hope my ex does recover and my biggest hope is one day she can see how much we helped each other, she tried to destroy me because she hated herself but that Ultimately failed and I came out stronger. She was homeless and activity killing herself and I did rescue her from that. Maybe she would have survived without me, I tried my best. She's still alive

[Confused108]

These individuals are NOT HAPPY! They are in constant turmoil! I have seen it 1st hand with my ex. For example before I took her bait I was just friends with her on FB. She looked so happy. So together! So Far from true! After we got back again I saw what was going on behind closed doors and off FB! She was a total mess! Cried a lot! Constantly battling feelings that were changing like turning off a light! She would even tell me oh I love you then say gee this is so hard. I was like what? She thought the world was out to get her! So what I'm trying to say is that they are a mess! And yes they All look like they have it together etc on FB and other social media sites. But guess what... .It's all a Facade!

[Confused108]

They are never truly happy, my ex puts up a front but she's always lived in a constant state of fear and emptiness and can only survive on the good emotions from others, many people watching her say my ex is so sad (not because she wants me) but because this is her fate, her illness, her curse. She finds nice guys and mirrors them then devalues them and destroys each and every best for me, and that is KEEPING HER OUT!

So Very True! My ex would go around at night saying she was scarred all the time! It was nuts! When I asked her what's wrong what are you scarred of she would either make up lies or just blow me off. Crazy!

[Hadlee]

So Very True! My ex would go around at night saying she was scarred all the time! It was nuts! When I asked her what's wrong what are you scarred of she would either make up lies or just blow me off. Crazy!

Yes!  Mine often said they were scared.  When I asked what about, the only response I got was, "I don't know".  Confused the heck out of me

[JerryRG]

My exgf was terrified about people, places and things, she seen evil dark things in her apartment and I even asked my pastor to come bless her home to help comfort her. But she felt safe at my place?. She often spoke of evil and wishing the world would end. She was so paranoid around people that she literally would hear them say horrible things about her. Delusions? Lies? I don't know all I got was her version.

Yes she lives in constant fear and for now is relying on the strength of her new bf, he is not God and she will once again collapse under her own mental illnesses.

[Confused108]

My exgf was terrified about people, places and things, she seen evil dark things in her apartment and I even asked my pastor to come bless her home to help comfort her. But she felt safe at my place?. She often spoke of evil and wishing the world would end. She was so paranoid around people that she literally would hear them say horrible things about her. Delusions? Lies? I don't know all I got was her version.

Yes she lives in constant fear and for now is relying on the strength of her new bf, he is not God and she will once again collapse under her own mental illnesses.

Jerry wow! We sure we didn't date the same woman? Mine claimed that after we were broken up by mom that she has some other mutual friends of ours were playing a Ouija board and she had an evil spirit harassing her! I heard this from a mutual friend. Now fast forward she told me last June she was raped my an evil spirit and feels darkness around her! I was like wow! Can you say BIG RED FLAG? One time we were having phone sex and after 3 min she said oh I can't do this I feel dark! I was like what? She then said oh you know I am subseptible to those kinds of things! Big Big BiG RED FLAG!

[5tarla]

So Very True! My ex would go around at night saying she was scarred all the time! It was nuts! When I asked her what's wrong what are you scarred of she would either make up lies or just blow me off. Crazy!

Yes!  Mine often said they were scared.  When I asked what about, the only response I got was, "I don't know".  Confused the heck out of me

My ex has said this as well, sometimes it was "I don't know" and other times it was "Of hurting you."

[Confused108]

So Very True! My ex would go around at night saying she was scarred all the time! It was nuts! When I asked her what's wrong what are you scarred of she would either make up lies or just blow me off. Crazy!

Yes!  Mine often said they were scared.  When I asked what about, the only response I got was, "I don't know".  Confused the heck out of me

My ex has said this as well, sometimes it was "I don't know" and other times it was "Of hurting you."

Yup I had gotten that one too! I also was told by my ex that she hoped this wasn't the Forbidden Fruit Syndrome for me! Can you believe that nonsense! Unreal!

[Herodias]

"What does the replacement have that we don't have?

A whole lot of trouble just ahead."

Love this JerryRG!

[Infern0]

I don't know how mine is doing and I don't need to know.

Most likely she has a guy on the go, but if not oh well.

I don't want her to suffer or anything, although maybe being alone for a while might lead her to getting help, which wouldn't be a bad thing.

But in the end its no longer my business.

[5tarla]

I don't know how mine is doing and I don't need to know.

Most likely she has a guy on the go, but if not oh well.

I don't want her to suffer or anything, although maybe being alone for a while might lead her to getting help, which wouldn't be a bad thing.

But in the end its no longer my business.

Good for you for reaching that level of indifference.