The ending.

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Hello, Now i'm wondering how was the end on the relationship for you (last end) and maybe some opinion on my end. My end was she did say for two months she was tierd of our realationship, did not break it. I was always trying to find what was wrong. She was so clearly talking to new guys and I saw new guys on her facebook (her now soulmate/victem also). For two months she did just get angry all the time and said i was stupid and she is tierd but never end it. In the end i did mistake (big mistake) but she was deffinatly waiting for my mistake because when i did the mistake she endid it same day and blocked me from every social media. Few days later she answeared my email telling me she have found her soulmate and i should go to hell.   

What should i expect now if something and have you similar end?

P.s. my mistake was i did new profile on facebook to try to talk to her as a new guy, she found out but before she found out she was talking and liked the new guy she was talking to. But i know this was wrong and maybe something wrong with me. But i never got answear and i needed it so deaply.

[luckyclover]

Hello, Now i'm wondering how was the end on the relationship for you (last end) and maybe some opinion on my end. My end was she did say for two months she was tierd of our realationship, did not break it. I was always trying to find what was wrong. She was so clearly talking to new guys and I saw new guys on her facebook (her now soulmate/victem also). For two months she did just get angry all the time and said i was stupid and she is tierd but never end it. In the end i did mistake (big mistake) but she was deffinatly waiting for my mistake because when i did the mistake she endid it same day and blocked me from every social media. Few days later she answeared my email telling me she have found her soulmate and i should go to hell.   

What should i expect now if something and have you similar end?

P.s. my mistake was i did new profile on facebook to try to talk to her as a new guy, she found out but before she found out she was talking and liked the new guy she was talking to. But i know this was wrong and maybe something wrong with me. But i never got answear and i needed it so deaply.

[Raspberry]

I too spoke to my ex throuh a fake account last week which probably wasn't healthy but don't think you're the only one, it's just so difficult when we are looking for closure.

You are right, even if both our BPD ex's have found their new soulmate (victim) they are incapable of sustaining it. You are worth more x

[gotbushels]

HI luckyclover 

P.s. my mistake was i did new profile on facebook to try to talk to her as a new guy, she found out but before she found out she was talking and liked the new guy she was talking to. But i know this was wrong and maybe something wrong with me. But i never got answear and i needed it so deaply.

If we "lose" the relationship or are separated from the pwBPD, then the previous behaviour of going to the pwBPD when we are alone is removed. I think it's normal to have some feeling to attempt to continue with that behaviour.

You can see that it's a "mistake" to you. You decided to do it. But you can feel it's wrong. That's okay. This doesn't mean something is wrong with you. Positively, at least you can see that there's something not really healthy about it:)

We often have a longing for an "answer" when we break from any relationship. Even ones where we initiated the breakup. Moreso when the behaviour of the ex is so unusual. I think it's important to recognise that you have this wanting and you're trying to fill that:)

[luckyclover]

HI luckyclover 

P.s. my mistake was i did new profile on facebook to try to talk to her as a new guy, she found out but before she found out she was talking and liked the new guy she was talking to. But i know this was wrong and maybe something wrong with me. But i never got answear and i needed it so deaply.

If we "lose" the relationship or are separated from the pwBPD, then the previous behaviour of going to the pwBPD when we are alone is removed. I think it's normal to have some feeling to attempt to continue with that behaviour.

You can see that it's a "mistake" to you. You decided to do it. But you can feel it's wrong. That's okay. This doesn't mean something is wrong with you. Positively, at least you can see that there's something not really healthy about it:)

We often have a longing for an "answer" when we break from any relationship. Even ones where we initiated the breakup. Moreso when the behaviour of the ex is so unusual. I think it's important to recognise that you have this wanting and you're trying to fill that:)

Thanks for this.

Question i think i'm normal guy and normal guy do mistake. Also the admit it and say sorry and regret it. She on the other half did for example start to mingle with other guys before she break up with me and told me to go to hell. She will never feel that she is wrong?  Or say sorry for that?

Also i read somewere that it sometimes looks like they are waiting after we do mistake so they have a resone to break the realationship is that maybe possible and she got a reson to paint me very black for what i did

[gotbushels]

No worries:)

Thanks for this.

Question i think i'm normal guy and normal guy do mistake. Also the admit it and say sorry and regret it.

Sure. This may be what you think, but not what she thinks. She's not you. It helps to respect that she's got different opinions to you on this. Also, if she's a pwBPD, if you choose to delve too far into her thinking, you have to take up the risk of being increasingly uncertain. There's no direct way for you to verify or validate your thoughts on their thoughts. That's also a form of unproductive rumination--which might signal something to you.

She on the other half did for example start to mingle with other guys before she break up with me and told me to go to hell. She will never feel that she is wrong?  Or say sorry for that?

Some people are like that--they either respond like that, or think that's okay, or both. We can't really know. This behaviour goes for both men and women. I'm sure you know a man that has an excessively easygoing attitude to his relationships. I would then ask you if you want to associate with someone who doesn't see wrong the same way you do--or apologise for something where you think it's suitable to apologise. Would you?

Also i read somewere that it sometimes looks like they are waiting after we do mistake so they have a resone to break the realationship is that maybe possible and she got a reson to paint me very black for what i did

Yes, I believe they do this in various ways. One way to look at this compassionately, is that we explore different ways to satisfy ourselves. When I am in emotional pain, I will run, it can be both good (distraction) and bad (I have a sports injury). Respectfully, you did what you responsibly called a "mistake" by creating an account to satisfy your sense of curiosity, dissatisfaction, and closure. For a pwBPD, he or she will sometimes choose to do something because it's one of the small handful of choices they know how to make. Sometimes, they could be trying to get closure like what Raspberry mentioned to you.