Advice needed please

[Depression = 72% of members]

Its been while since ive spoken on here, but the past few days have made me feel so bad mentally, I had a very strange relationship with a woman, I still strongly believe is HPD around 3 years ago.  I would post my story but its a lot to read, basically I stupidly emailed her 3 weeks ago saying we friends yet? as i haven't spoken to her in 3 years because I was blocked instantly as soon as I found out and confronted her about cheating on me, she also begged for a baby, faked pregnancy and abortion while screaming at me down the phone you killed the baby you never wanted (you get the picture) well she replied to me on Facebook chat and we had a big catch up, shes in a relationship, and she also told me that the guy she cheated on me with had a baby with her and that he was so abusive and controlling to her that she developed an eating disorder and was offered anti depressants, also told me it was one of the lowest points in my life.  My problem is I now feel mildly depressed because Im almost certain she has some kind of Cluster B, but her reasoning was Ive grown up a lot since then as I didnt know what I wanted, I was with her for 2 years, says that shes so happy right now, and she is being extremely mature towards me answering questions in regards to closure, she told me she was really broody when I was with her then after she broke up she didnt feel like that anymore, I just feel a bit lost as why is it that the people that treat woman the best get it bad? A part of me just wants to say thanks for the conversation, and not talk to her again, because apart of me feels annoyed that what if she isnt what i thought she was, or is this just another fake image shes portraying? I wanted to talk to her to relieve all the resentment I boxed up over the years, but after talking to her its making me doubt the person she actually was with me, a nightmare, btw she was 23 at the time so not that young in regards to being immature, am I wrong in thinking wow shes finally found the one and I was in the wrong place at the wrong time with all her emotional and physical cheating?

Any experiences would be much appreciated

Thank you       

[jammo1989]

Its been while since ive spoken on here, but the past few days have made me feel so bad mentally, I had a very strange relationship with a woman, I still strongly believe is HPD around 3 years ago.  I would post my story but its a lot to read, basically I stupidly emailed her 3 weeks ago saying we friends yet? as i haven't spoken to her in 3 years because I was blocked instantly as soon as I found out and confronted her about cheating on me, she also begged for a baby, faked pregnancy and abortion while screaming at me down the phone you killed the baby you never wanted (you get the picture) well she replied to me on Facebook chat and we had a big catch up, shes in a relationship, and she also told me that the guy she cheated on me with had a baby with her and that he was so abusive and controlling to her that she developed an eating disorder and was offered anti depressants, also told me it was one of the lowest points in my life.  My problem is I now feel mildly depressed because Im almost certain she has some kind of Cluster B, but her reasoning was Ive grown up a lot since then as I didnt know what I wanted, I was with her for 2 years, says that shes so happy right now, and she is being extremely mature towards me answering questions in regards to closure, she told me she was really broody when I was with her then after she broke up she didnt feel like that anymore, I just feel a bit lost as why is it that the people that treat woman the best get it bad? A part of me just wants to say thanks for the conversation, and not talk to her again, because apart of me feels annoyed that what if she isnt what i thought she was, or is this just another fake image shes portraying? I wanted to talk to her to relieve all the resentment I boxed up over the years, but after talking to her its making me doubt the person she actually was with me, a nightmare, btw she was 23 at the time so not that young in regards to being immature, am I wrong in thinking wow shes finally found the one and I was in the wrong place at the wrong time with all her emotional and physical cheating?

Any experiences would be much appreciated

Thank you       

[once removed]

hi jammo1989  

lets take cluster b out of the equation for a moment. its been a while, shes had time to self reflect. your own success isnt tied to her outcome either way.

I just feel a bit lost as why is it that the people that treat woman the best get it bad?

ive felt this way before. can you elaborate on this thought?

[sweet tooth]

Is she still with the abusive guy? If so, the abuse and her being happy aren't harmonious. It doesn't make sense why she would say two very conflicting things.

Maybe she had some Cluster B traits but she worked on them. Maybe she's more mature now, or both.

Please don't beat yourself up. If she cheated on you, regardless of Cluster B, then she wasn't respectful or kind to you.

[jammo1989]

I very much appreciate your responses guys, thank you, this was what I posted around 3 years ago as my original story.

have recently come out of a 2 year relationship with a girl who has has one of the most horrific up bringing, she was strangled by her own mother, was put into foster care and was dumped on someone's door step the day she was born. Her dad abandoned her and her mother is now a heroin addict. Her mother has Bi Polar and my ex carrys all the traits of BPD. I have educated myself on this subject to help me heal, i understand the devalue process and the push/pull behaviour. What i am struggling with is that, she broke up with me, and for about 2 weeks i was getting the the i love you, hate you treatment. She demanded I met her to get my stuff back, so i could see the pain I had apparently caused. She was saying things like you look hot, if i wasnt on my peroid id so ___ you right now. (sorry guys) She gave me a hickey, told me how much she loved me and wouldn't stop kissing me. I then told her I had things to do back at home and would text her. She then burst into tears and was like leave me alone i need my space. She then kissed me and text me an hour later saying thank you for an amazing day Jammo I love you. During this period she would push/pull ignore my texts, then ring me 2/3 days later saying she missed me. A week went by and these mind games destroyed me, she kept liking this guys pictures on FB, so i called her up and said im done i cant play these games with you any more. She then said ok Jammo, then told me that her 3 year old daughter was asking for me and that she misses me. I replied by saying tell her i miss her to. Her 6 year old son was then asking her whos on the phone mummy? and she replied by saying Jammo darling, he then said but Jammo makes you cry, she then replied saying you know mummy loves Jammo, my house my rules. We then had a little convo about the kids and then she said ok i gtg now cooking the kids tea. The very next day, I go on FB and the guy i went mad at her for liking his pictures slept at her house the next night, then 2 days later was in a relationship with him. I understand abandonment fears are worse than death itself, but why did she move on so fast? and why did she act so normal and loving towards me? she wasnt distant or cold.

2 weeks of NC then went by and she realised she had more of my stuff to give me, so we set a destination to meet, I met up with her and she was saying things like hey Jammo hows your family? hope your all doing ok. She then said btw (her) daughter was asking for you the other day and i told her Jammo is naughty. She then said that her and the kids were looking at old pictures of me and her in her photo album (She has a bf) she then went onto say, I still go on your FB, I know what your up to (Even though shes blocked me on it) she then went from being lovely to being horrible saying things like, now you have your stuff back you have no reason to ever contact me again, that means, by text, phone, fb and email. She said all this with a massive grin on her face, throughout the whole ordeal i smiled at her and never lost eye contact, she would tell i wasnt being affected. The last thing she said was, im bored of talking to you now im hungry, I then laughed and said ok bye now go get some food and walked off. She has blocked me from all forms of communication apart from Gmail. Why has she done this? as im the only ex shes ever blocked out of her life. I havent tried contacting her, but i feel so confused.

The guy she blocked me for was controlling and abusive ti the point she told me she developed an eating disorder and was on Anti Depressants, she also has a child with him, She has 2 children with her ex husband (got married at 16) and cheated on him a lot when he was away on tour, he told me that himself, Shes got a new bf now and has told me shes never been happier, but the amount of lies she told me in the past its making me doubt my own perceptions again, and thats why talking to her again after 3 years has made me feel $#%^ (what if shes finally grown up, matured?) she also told me that I took a lot of abuse from her because I was the guy after her ex husband and he would always make her upset, yet they would text each other all the time when we were out eating laughing at her phone, is this a person whos just straight up lieing, or was she never into me at the start (we were together for 2 years) and has some how grown up after this apparent abusive relationship?

Thank you!