All the feelings

[Raspberry]

Hi everyone

I haven't posted in a few weeks, I thought we were actually manage to get on as friends, albeit still quite intense as we were speak in on the phone every evening. On Sunday he started acting fairly cool towards me and I told him so which he denied but he  knows that I'm not prepared to be a doormat whilst he compliments and talks to another (vulnerable ) girl on insta who seems obsessed with him (and fairly desperate). I imagine theyre talking constantly like we were. I am moving on, I haven't shed a single tear over him since this all started as I just can't be bothered anymore, I'm better than this. I miss him but I'm not coming running anymore when he clicks his fingers. It still amazes me all the bull s he comes out with, hoping I'll wait for him to be ready for a relationship,  wanting me in his life as I'm too special to lose and then this? It may be harmless flirting in his eyes but I am not prepared to be painted black and white. Yes i'm sad but in all honesty, it's his loss. I'm not blocking him as he can just see me getting on with my life without even giving him a mention.

Life isn't a fairytale and i feel lonely but it goes on xx

[Meili]

Raspberry, I'm sorry that you're going through that. I'm going through essentially the same. My x and I communicated quite a bit as of late. Then she told me that she's considering getting involved with another man and asked me to wait for her to make her decision. All the while, telling me how special I am, how I made her feel like none other, how she still wants the fairy tale with me, she'll never love anyone like she loved me, and that she can't imagine a life without me. But, the moment that I showed her that I've become stronger it all changed. It was right back to "clearly we are bad for each other" and "goodbye."

I agree with you, it's their loss!

[Raspberry]

Raspberry, I'm sorry that you're going through that. I'm going through essentially the same. My x and I communicated quite a bit as of late. Then she told me that she's considering getting involved with another man and asked me to wait for her to make her decision. All the while, telling me how special I am, how I made her feel like none other, how she still wants the fairy tale with me, she'll never love anyone like she loved me, and that she can't imagine a life without me. But, the moment that I showed her that I've become stronger it all changed. It was right back to "clearly we are bad for each other" and "goodbye."

I agree with you, it's their loss!

It all sounds so familiar but like I told him last week, I might be gutted for a bit but i'd get over it! I may appear sassier than I really feel but fake I until you make it! I'm not settling for just being an option, even if it did feel like we were meant for each other we're obviously not as feelings should be respected! Him and his new victim are welcome to each other.

[Meili]

That's the same way that I feel about my x. She's out running around with my replacement and her new supply of guys that are putting her on a pedestal. Sure, I wasn't perfect, but I'm working as hard as I can to change the things about myself that caused problems and got me into this mess. I'm hoping that the next woman that I get involved with will respect me or I'll be gone.

Are you working on changes too?

[Raspberry]

That's the same way that I feel about my x. She's out running around with my replacement and her new supply of guys that are putting her on a pedestal. Sure, I wasn't perfect, but I'm working as hard as I can to change the things about myself that caused problems and got me into this mess. I'm hoping that the next woman that I get involved with will respect me or I'll be gone.

Are you working on changes too?

I'm working on my own mental health as I am getting better from an eating disorder and anxiety. I want to begin my teacher training next year, I'm just focusing on getting through the days and planning things with my girlfriend's  I think he's emotionally immature and very naive but I'm holding my head up high and taking care of myself

His new victim has put him on a massive pedastal and also think its a rather b*tchy move on her part as she knows about "us" but they're living in the world of insta, not real life ... .

[Meili]

I'm glad to hear that you're doing those things to take care of yourself. They sound like huge steps in the right direction! Good for you!

The way that you describe his new supply seems kinda fitting; a virtual world is pretty much a fantasy world after all!

But, I must ask, how do you know so much about what he's doing now?

[Raspberry]

I'm glad to hear that you're doing those things to take care of yourself. They sound like huge steps in the right direction! Good for you!

The way that you describe his new supply seems kinda fitting; a virtual world is pretty much a fantasy world after all!

But, I must ask, how do you know so much about what he's doing now?

As we were speak in up to the weekend and we still follow each other on insta, blocking him shows I'm bothered when he can just see me getting on with my life! I'm still curious but the more I see, the more I realise that the person that I cared for doesn't really exist

[Meili]

Oh, OK. This is why I stay away from my x's social media stuff. I'd prefer to not know what she's doing. It would take the focus off of what I need to be doing for myself.

It sounds like, in your case, while it hurts, it is helping you disengage though.

[Raspberry]

Oh, OK. This is why I stay away from my x's social media stuff. I'd prefer to not know what she's doing. It would take the focus off of what I need to be doing for myself.

It sounds like, in your case, while it hurts, it is helping you disengage though.

It makes me more determined to blast beyonce and get on with my life

Hope you're healing too

[Meili]

I'm getting there, thank you!

[Raspberry]

Forget what I said yesterday, today I feel ANGRY. I do not understand why the lies kept spewing from his mouth even as recently as last week to then be given the silent treatment and forgotten about. I am a human too, how dare he play the ill victim role when he is still responsible for his behaviour and words. I am angry that some on can be so cruel and heartless and his actions in complete juxtaposition with her words. Today he changed his netflix password so I no longer has access despite the last time of speaking everything was rosy and he'd "always want me in his life, I'm too special to lose blah blah"

Tonight I am angry as I think he's cruel. I also have mental illness yet I dont treat people like crap. I've blocked him on insta although I don't want him to think I'm upset and even mentioning him on that as I'm not! He is not worth my breath. As I said, getting on with my life but it's all such lies and he has taken no responsibility for any of it with his cosy, every one supporting him life. He earns more on benefits than I do working! I am angry

[Meili]

I'm sorry that you are having a bad time. Being angry about being lied to and betrayed is a natural and healthy response; for whatever that's worth to you.

It is part of the healing process, and propel you to better things. I think that it's important to feel the anger and not forget those feelings as you move forward. It can steel your resolve if nothing else. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you should stay in a place of anger forever, just for as long as it takes and to keep the memory of the anger as you move forward.