Time to call it a day.

[Rockylove]

After 5 years together (3 married), it's over.  Some of you may know me from the "staying" board, but if you don't, here it is in a nutshell.

My undiagnosed husband and I met in July of 2011.  Immediately, there was drama and red flags that I ignored because he was so convincing and really quite charming.  I began to recognize real issues about a year later and found this site, read everything I could get my hands on and made the commitment to marry this lovely man in June of 2013 in spite of his obvious illness.  It was challenging, but we managed.  Then in October of 2014 he suffered a serious stroke leaving him very disabled.  That was more challenging than anything I've ever been faced with, but I gave it my all. 

Fast forward to the present.  A very dear friend of mine (who became a very close friend to my husband as well) died.  This really sent my husband off the deep end and the day after our 3rd wedding anniversary, he went off... .out of control.  I called his son, text his mother and a close friend of his and said I really need help with him.  I ended up going to sleep in my studio but he stayed awake fuming then called my son in the middle of the night and said to come get me.  I left.  He's filing for divorce.  I almost don't care.  I hope his family steps in because he's really unable to live alone with his disabilities, but I can't do any more than I've done. 

[fromheeltoheal]

Well, welcome to Detaching Rocky.  What you've been through sounds very painful and sad, I'm sorry all of that happened.

You say you almost don't care that he's filing for divorce, and I'm assuming you've developed skills to deal with a borderline on the Staying board; how's your mental and emotional state right now?

[Rockylove]

I think I'm still in shock over this.  It happened so quickly... .one minute we were incredibly happy and life was as "perfect" as I could have imagined... .the next minute he threw me and my 2 dogs out of the house and locked the doors and windows.  He's telling people that I abused him.  That makes me sad, but those who know me won't believe him and I can't do anything about those who do. 

I allowed myself  to get in a difficult situation financially for the 2 years that I wasn't working and stayed home to take care of him.  I'll not let that stop me though.  I have an interview Tuesday and feel confident that I'll get the job.  My sister has been alone since her husband's death 10 years ago and she's getting older (71) and has welcomed me and my critters into her home. (I'm now her cellar dweller! LOL) She likes my cooking so we've worked out a great deal... .she buys the food and I cook & clean up.  I'm very grateful to have a place to stay where I know there isn't a threat of being put out on the street.

[heartandwhole]

Hi Rockylove,

I'm very sorry to hear that things have come to this. How painful and bewildering! I can totally understand your feelings of shock. The situation does seem to have unraveled quickly.

I'm glad you are living with your sister right now. I know how precious family support can be during times like this (from both sides, like you are doing with your sister).

Has there been any contact since the meltdown? Is it likely that your husband will rethink his decision after things calm down?

heartandwhole