Updates/gratitude

[landslide]

It has been a long time since I posted.  I have a 16DD who was in complete chaos at the beginning of this year, running away, substance abuse, sexually unsafe, completely dysregulated and getting worse by the week.  We knew she needed help but had a psychiatric ER turn her away and insurance refuse to cover the care she needed. I stumbled on this board, and it was such a relief to share what was going on and hear back from people who understood.  My daughter entered an inpatient psych unit at the beginning of May and was transferred directly to a short-term residential program for teens with mental health and substance use issues.  She started the program minimizing her problems, angry with us, and showing every BPD symptom in the book.  Over the course of treatment, which included getting on a good medication regimen, having positive peer support and actually addressing her core issues, she improved dramatically.  She just came home and will be starting day treatment.  It is like having a different child.  She is still extremely sensitive and needs much more support than a typical 16 year old, but she can better regulate her moods, talk about what is actually troubling her and express appreciation and connect with us.  We have a very long road ahead of us.  She has a lot to learn about relationships, and I am scared about her falling into another codependent romantic mess.  I am scared in general, but so much more hopeful.  Residential treatment was exactly what we needed.  I wanted to share my story to let others know there is hope.  I also wanted to thank this community again for being a lifeline when I was in trauma and chaos 24/7.  I hope we never return to that level of desperation but we are just taking things one day at a time, and it helps to know the support is here. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Yepanotherone]

So great to hear things are on the up for you and your family landslide , that's excellent news I can imagine you'll be walking on tenderhooks for this initial transition period but it's sounds like your DD has foundation skills now from which she can further develop .

How long was she in RTC for and where did she go if you don't mind me asking ?

[livednlearned]

Thanks for the update 

Do you feel there are skills you and your H apply that help her? Or anything, really, that seems to help her in her recovery?

[lbjnltx]

Awesome news!  The 24/7 therapeutic environment can be so very affective!

You mentioned positive peer support.  Was this a Positive Peer Culture environment she was in at the RTC?

lbj

[mggt]

So nice to hear good news,  hopefully everything will stay on track 

[Bright Day Mom]

It is soo good to hear a wonderful/ positive update. This gives many hope and strength to fight 'cause brighter days are ahead!

Here's to continued growth

[wendydarling]

That is the most wonderful news landslide, thank you for sharing. I too am delighted for you and your family, what a relief for you to see your daughter moving forwards. My 27daughter is in outpatients DBT - couple months in and 18 months ahead of her, yes the journey is slower ... .delighted with her progress and with the support of this fantastic community and the great resources I am able to walk with her, we presently practice mindfulness, talk about sticky issues and radical acceptance. It is SO enjoyable!

Interestingly a colleague at work provided their time and advice at no cost to someone and in return they are providing us a one day workshop on mindfulness in the workplace. Gutted I can't attend, I have prior work commitments.

As Lbj shares with us the journey is not linear, reminding my self of that helps me stay centred if I become overly concerned, as we do.

Glad you are back, give hope to our teenage parents 

WDx

[landslide]

The program she was in was only 2 months long, a place called Recovery Plus that offers short term residential for teens with both mental and chemical health issues.  I don't think it officially uses a positive peer support framework, but they facilitated the group in a way that encouraged the girls to hold each accountable.  I think we are all still learning and trying to improve communication and validating each other's perspectives.  Just tonight we caught her in some dishonesty, and we as parents still feel afraid after all the chaos we've been through.  We all have a lot of hard work ahead of us.  Thank you for all the encouragement.

[Bright Day Mom]

Landslide, I hear you when you say you feel afraid after the chaos your family has been thru. It was very difficult for my family when my D started coming home for home visits from Residential. It seemed like every time she wasn't in my view I was calling out her name to see where she was and what she was doing. It has actually gotten an little easier over the last month and we are starting to really enjoy our family again. Lots of work on everyone; thank goodness for family sessions, the lessons on this site and all the BPD family / input ... .it helps, baby steps.  Be well, don't forget to do something kind for YOURSELF!