Hi Bcobra84,
I'd like to join
Meili and welcome you. I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time. I was with my ex for 7 1/2 years and I recall exactly the day that she stopped idealizing me in the r/s. At that time I knew nothing about BPD and I hoping that the person that I met at the beginning of the r/s was going to show herself again someday. My advice is to is to let go of the permanent idealization.
Realistic Expectations: A person with BPD is emotionally underdeveloped and does not have "adult" emotional skills - especially in times of stress. If you are in this type of relationship it is important to have realistic expectations for what the relationship can be in terms of consistent respect, trust and support, honesty and accountability, and in terms of negotiation and fairness, or expectations of non-threatening behavior. It is important to accept the relationship behavior for what it is - not hope the person will permanently return to the idealization phase, not accept the external excuses for the bad behavior, and not hope that changing your behavior to heal someone else.
What Does it Take to Be in a Relationship