Feel empty

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I've finally moved out. I'm still in court trying to get my house ra payment back & him to refinance or sell the Hous we own together. After being with my uBPDbf for 5 yrs and dealing with his rage, push/pull, gas lighting, jading, etc. Even the week I was packing he offered me money to stay, talked to me for hours on how he was hurting, etc.  I'm in my own home with the help of my wonderful parents.

And to top it all of after packing, moving, his drama, etc. I end up with shingles due to the stress. Are you f-in kidding me! 

Within days of me being out he paid at least $10,000 to refurnish the house (90% of stuff was mine which I took). He fixed things which he couldn't do when I lived there. And I as replaced by another woman within a week. Whom he had been talking to before I was out and while he was telling me I was his true love and always will be.  He's also been texting me on and off.

I know what he says are all lies but why does it tug at me. Why do I let it bother me?  Why do I feel empty?  Because there is no constant drama (which I had regularly for 5 days)?

[FigureIt]

I've finally moved out. I'm still in court trying to get my house ra payment back & him to refinance or sell the Hous we own together. After being with my uBPDbf for 5 yrs and dealing with his rage, push/pull, gas lighting, jading, etc. Even the week I was packing he offered me money to stay, talked to me for hours on how he was hurting, etc.  I'm in my own home with the help of my wonderful parents.

And to top it all of after packing, moving, his drama, etc. I end up with shingles due to the stress. Are you f-in kidding me! 

Within days of me being out he paid at least $10,000 to refurnish the house (90% of stuff was mine which I took). He fixed things which he couldn't do when I lived there. And I as replaced by another woman within a week. Whom he had been talking to before I was out and while he was telling me I was his true love and always will be.  He's also been texting me on and off.

I know what he says are all lies but why does it tug at me. Why do I let it bother me?  Why do I feel empty?  Because there is no constant drama (which I had regularly for 5 days)?

[JerryRG]

Hello FigureIt

I'm sorry to hear you're hurting, these relationships suc#!

You know what really s###s?

We get better, we heal, we find a new life with a real person, the pwBPD? They never change.

Drama, chaos, fear and lies

People tell me to be grateful I'm out, I'm getting there.

[Mutt]

Hi FigureIt,

Five years is a long history. Its going to take some time to get your beatings straight. One way to speed things up is minimal contact or no contact, I would find it hard and confusing reading texts about being that person's true love, when a pwBPD fear abandonment and will frantically try to avoid it.

My ex wanted me at arm's length after she left me with her boyfriend, I was just an escape plan if her new r/s wasn't going to work and he'd leave her. I self protected with minimal contact because she was so confusing with being friendly while she was in a new r/s with a new man and I was knee deep in pain. We have kids, so no contact wasn't an option, I do minimal contact.