Should we pick our battles?

[bus boy]

Like many on here, my journey into the world if the BPD has been hell. I had a good court order, at least better than the one had. She walked all over the old order, I had to take her back to court and last December got a good access order with a good devision of the holidays. Now bc I wasn't paying attention I lost all my extra time. Xw didn't deny access but everything else was a disaster. Now here I am with less again. Xw lawyer told her to stay with the existing order. Xw is the one creating the in consistency in s9's life. Every time we get an order she manages to find a way to control and manuplate it. I have an empty defeated feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel now I should of left good enough alone and been happy with what I had. Now xw has 2 months to prove the extra access was hard on s9. Although I have all the school records proving different. She is such a sly manipulator and lier. I fear she will be working on s9. She's been doing it all her life. S9 will do what he has to do to please his mother.

[Naughty Nibbler]

HEY BUS BOY:  

Now xw has 2 months to prove the extra access was hard on s9.

It is possible to have a neutral person: therapist, social worker or school counselor interview your son.  You need something to refute your wife's possible coaching and brainwashing of your son.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey bus boy, Don't beat yourself up!  It's rough sledding in the aftermath of a BPD r/s.  My BPDxW, like yours, walked all over court orders and I had to take her back to court, too.  It's extremely frustrating, but I would suggest that it's all part of the BPD dynamic.  My Ex behaved in unreasonable and irrational fashion during our divorce, and still does.  We have kids together so I am LC w/her.

LuckyJim