Cherry picking and victimising themselves

[Depression = 72% of members]

BPD sis has not been honest with me regarding situations with money. And when I asked she avoided answering,  and refused to by changing the subject. I said to her I don't know how she could complain about her ex refusing to talk to her and be open and honest with her when she is doing the same thing to me... .In amongst the conversation about loans and money which she refused to answer ... .She saw to read it as  this " your are a liar just like your exhusband" and I am a now a bad guy and she is a victim. A great distraction from the point of her borrowing money off my parents for one reason and telling me another.  Now  I text and only email conversations at times is because it is written and she can re read it. What do I do. And once again the relationship between me and her kids will be held to ransom
How do you manage when they do this?

[yamada]

BPD sis has not been honest with me regarding situations with money. And when I asked she avoided answering,  and refused to by changing the subject. I said to her I don't know how she could complain about her ex refusing to talk to her and be open and honest with her when she is doing the same thing to me... .In amongst the conversation about loans and money which she refused to answer ... .She saw to read it as  this " your are a liar just like your exhusband" and I am a now a bad guy and she is a victim. A great distraction from the point of her borrowing money off my parents for one reason and telling me another.  Now  I text and only email conversations at times is because it is written and she can re read it. What do I do. And once again the relationship between me and her kids will be held to ransom
How do you manage when they do this?

[Naughty Nibbler]

Hey yamada:   

I read a few of your prior posts.  If I understood correctly, both your mom and sister have BPD.  Is that right?  Is your sister still living in a different state?

How do the stories differ about the need for money?  What do you believe your sister really wants the money for?  Do you think your sister is trying to take advantage of your parents?

It might be helpful to read about various types of triangulation.

https://bpdfamily.com/content/karpman-drama-triangle

[Kwamina]

Hi yamada

It's been a while since you were last here. You unfortunately find yourself struggling with your sister's behavior again. Are you talking about something that happened recently when you refer to your sister not being honest about money? How long has this been going on that you only have text and email conversations with her?

I can understand why her telling different stories would bother you. Would you say this is something she does often, telling one person this story and the other a totally different one?

Take care