hurting this morning

[Depression = 72% of members]

This is hard, she is so mean and cold towards me, its like a light switch her mood goes horrible in no time and at the same time calling me mean and cold. It makes you wonder did this person ever love me and how can she be so dam mean, this is tearing me apart , I'm dying on the inside. I move out in two days but I don't want to leave and after all the abuse why would I want to stay, maybe something really is wrong with me?

[lind67]

This is hard, she is so mean and cold towards me, its like a light switch her mood goes horrible in no time and at the same time calling me mean and cold. It makes you wonder did this person ever love me and how can she be so dam mean, this is tearing me apart , I'm dying on the inside. I move out in two days but I don't want to leave and after all the abuse why would I want to stay, maybe something really is wrong with me?

[once removed]

im not sure there is something wrong with you for feeling this way.

my ex was never cold toward me until a couple of days after our relationship ended. at that point, like you describe, it was like a light switch, and she was making deliberate efforts to hurt me.

its very difficult to get your heart and head around how someone you felt uniquely close to, perhaps your best friend and soul mate, can suddenly feel like your worst enemy. its a psychological challenge on so many levels, completely surreal, and not contrary to our understanding of the world and relationships.

a hallmark of BPD is alternating extremes of idealization and devaluation within intimate relationships. it may manifest in different ways, from person to person, but its very hurtful to those that love them.

can you tell us a bit more about what is going on? it may help to take steps to deescalate conflict.

[lind67]

Last week we parked in my work garage to take advantage of free parking took train to football game, asked me to carried lip gloss in pocket well after game  could not find lip gloss got very upset and once we got back to the car she was very upset ,cause I lost her 18 dollar lip gloss, so she preceded to let the air out of all 4 tires ,I walked away , can back to see if she had come down by this time sercurity  was there  and we talked to sercurity was asked to leave garage and it got worse that night ,she started pushing me ,threatening me and usual name calling ,I just left the house and we decided to separate but it has been a living hell at the house, we ignored each other and then when I leave for work text messages start I hate you, I be glad when you leave, you are mean and I never liked you, she comes and goes as she pleases and tells me daily I'm divorcing you.