I have been here before..

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Under a different username. I have come back because I want to continue to participate... Continue to learn and to help others.

I have been in a relationship with a uBPDw for nearly 30 years. I finally figured out that she and the disorder just over 2 months ago. I have been enduring the effects of this disorder for 30 years. It has been brutal. I have two daughters, 11 and 13. I have stayed in the marriage for the last 13 years for them.

A month ago, after violence in the home, and continue and increasing bad behaviors toward my daughters, I confronted my wife and asked her to seek in patient care. It is a very long story, but she had been "talking" about it for a while, but there was always and excuse. When I confronted her, I had a witness (our marriage therapist suggested I do this ... .DO THIS, PERIOD); it was the most important decision I ever made ... .She freaked out, ultimately assaulted me and because there was a witness there, the truth prevailed... .In the abcense of such witness (especially as a man) ... .You are SCREWED ... .The BPD partner will lie to preserve themselves ... Lie like you have never seem before ... .And I had been with my wife for 30 yrs and did not think she was capable of such lies - I had since learned she is capable of much worse.

In the end, I have custody of my daughters and possession of our home ... .She and her family are convince I am some sort of psycho ... And engineered this entire thing to screw her. They are in the process of trying to ruin me financially.

I will prevail and I will protect my daughters from the brutal and damaging disorder. I have been married for nearly 30 years ... .The disorder is insidious and horribly, horribly harmful. More people should know what this is ... .It is far too common and serious for this not to be more well known to people.

Pine Knoll

[Pine Knoll]

Under a different username. I have come back because I want to continue to participate... Continue to learn and to help others.

I have been in a relationship with a uBPDw for nearly 30 years. I finally figured out that she and the disorder just over 2 months ago. I have been enduring the effects of this disorder for 30 years. It has been brutal. I have two daughters, 11 and 13. I have stayed in the marriage for the last 13 years for them.

A month ago, after violence in the home, and continue and increasing bad behaviors toward my daughters, I confronted my wife and asked her to seek in patient care. It is a very long story, but she had been "talking" about it for a while, but there was always and excuse. When I confronted her, I had a witness (our marriage therapist suggested I do this ... .DO THIS, PERIOD); it was the most important decision I ever made ... .She freaked out, ultimately assaulted me and because there was a witness there, the truth prevailed... .In the abcense of such witness (especially as a man) ... .You are SCREWED ... .The BPD partner will lie to preserve themselves ... Lie like you have never seem before ... .And I had been with my wife for 30 yrs and did not think she was capable of such lies - I had since learned she is capable of much worse.

In the end, I have custody of my daughters and possession of our home ... .She and her family are convince I am some sort of psycho ... And engineered this entire thing to screw her. They are in the process of trying to ruin me financially.

I will prevail and I will protect my daughters from the brutal and damaging disorder. I have been married for nearly 30 years ... .The disorder is insidious and horribly, horribly harmful. More people should know what this is ... .It is far too common and serious for this not to be more well known to people.

Pine Knoll

[The Teacher]

Pine Knoll:

I am so sorry you have had to endure this, but very glad that you followed your therapist's advice, had a witness, and prevailed. Having been the received of emotional and verbal abuse myself at the hands of my wife for only four years (a second marriage for us both), I cannot imagine what you must have gone through for decades. You are both brave and wise, in my opinion.

How is it that she and her family are out to screw you financially? I trust you have a lawyer helping you to look out for your best interests, as well as your girls. How are the girls handling it?

I had no idea what BPD was until my therapist spotted it (using the descriptions of my wife's behaviors that I shared during therapy). I too wish that people knew more about it. The behavior has only gotten worse now that I have moved out of my home (for my own protection). I know what you mean about the lies, too.

I wish you well. You will find many supportive people here, as you know.

The Teacher

[heartandwhole]

Hi Pine Knoll,

I'd like to welcome you back to bpdfamily. I'm glad you posted, but I'm sorry for the reason. You have been through a lot, and I can't imagine having to go through something like this after 30 years of marriage. I commend you for making your daughters' and your wellbeing a priority, and I hope that your wife gets help to manage her symptoms.

Things DO get better, but right now, I imagine that you are in high-stress mode. Feeling that even her family is out to ruin you adds even more stress. Are you able to get some sleep, eat enough, and exercise? Who do you have in your corner during this time, PK? 

I agree that BPD just doesn't cross the radar of the general population, and I think there needs to be more education about it. I had never heard of it either, before pwBPD mentioned it.

Please do keep us posted on your journey. It's critical to have support when things fall apart like this. I look forward to reading more of your progress.

heartandwhole