If you could go back in time what would you do?

[Depression = 72% of members]

I'm new here and don't know if this was brought up before. But if you knew what you know right now before meeting SO wBPD for the first time, what would you do? For me it may sound crazy but I didn't know the full extent of what was wrong with my ex BPDgf over about 8 year period( was together for a few years then I left came back after a few years). And I know now after this last break up happen I figured it out. I mostly likely think she knows I realized now and has not contacted me in for over a week. So now I think back to us first meeting and think if I used what I know now would it make a difference? I think I would give it a shot, put my boundaries up and use the skills I know now. See if I could get my ex to started therapy years earlier then just 4 months ago. If then it didn't work I would just have to move on, and save myself years of the good and bad.

So what would you do use what you know now or just run the other way?

[rzr14]

I'm new here and don't know if this was brought up before. But if you knew what you know right now before meeting SO wBPD for the first time, what would you do? For me it may sound crazy but I didn't know the full extent of what was wrong with my ex BPDgf over about 8 year period( was together for a few years then I left came back after a few years). And I know now after this last break up happen I figured it out. I mostly likely think she knows I realized now and has not contacted me in for over a week. So now I think back to us first meeting and think if I used what I know now would it make a difference? I think I would give it a shot, put my boundaries up and use the skills I know now. See if I could get my ex to started therapy years earlier then just 4 months ago. If then it didn't work I would just have to move on, and save myself years of the good and bad.

So what would you do use what you know now or just run the other way?

[Sadly]

I would run a mile ( make that many) in the other direction. The few months amazing wonderful life affirming joy was not worth nearly two years of confusing heartbreaking soul destroying grief. X

[TheSinister]

Just run the other way, the core problem with BPD people is problems with r/s
There is no wat around it
So if I learned something from my own experience is that no matter what I would do the end result will be the same

I know why you think you could change something but you just can't

[CitizenBell]

I'd not have had the holiday with her or I would have stuck her on a plane home, said I'm continuing the rest of the trip alone and broke up with her.

It took me ages to get over the emotional exhaustion of dealing with her on the trip. I was still reeling from it when we broke up.

[JerryRG]

My exgf used to ask me this question and I always told her I would have listened to her advice and that of every other person and walked away. I love my son and I would miss him, but if I could still have my son and his mother sent to Pluto, I would do it in a heart beat.