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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Ready, set, here I goes. BPD be gone  (Read 449 times)
FallBack!Monster
Formerly AudB73, Back2Me16
*****
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 515



« on: November 05, 2016, 12:29:13 PM »

I been talking to a good hearted past victim/friend of my ex.  He promised to support me on my mission to finally detach for good. Going NC was the hardest part for me. I foolishly kept an open line of communication. It was for my own good but only my ex benefits from it. My friend said that evens it out and maybe that would keep me from what is left over from what transpired.
My friend put it like this, I can't reach my ex when I feel like it (my supply) now he cannot either (some of his supply gone).  He don't need me (my ex),; my friend said. He only want to know I'm there if he want to want me. My friend ask me why I want to have  contact with my ex. I didn't have a answer for him. Then he ask me what am going to do, give my ex the upper hand or do I want to fight fair? He didn't mean fight he meant live my life without my ex knowing or hearing from me like I don't know about him. Them words was what I need to hear.
I think I was wanting for the impossible. That we become good friends and he make me feel trusted again. Maybe that takes emotional developing to. I decide to give up on that idea, that had turn into a delusional obsession without me knowing.
My friend said is better for me to do it now than before. Because i was mad before. Now I can clearer rationalize it.  Bottom line, it just don't make no sense no more. I won't check emails, block text and calls and in total act like he was an ex from further years ago. New leaf.
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