Trying to move forward

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hello,
I need perspective: my mother is nondiagnosed BPD; unfortunately I have traits which I am trying to overcome. Eventhough I do not have the BPD diagnosis my husband continues to force this label on me ; in discussions he will talk about "the illness" causing me to be depressed, think a certain way , talk or act in a manner he is not comfortable with ( high emotion). It seems he is trying to separate me into either the persons he enjoys/ loves or this "illness". I am working with therapist ind & group trying to overcome the traits I abhor ( remember I grew up with a BPD mother. He is driving me cray - I want to run/ leave get away from this continued dialogue. I am trying to integrate myself into a whole healthy person & he's splitting me, - who I am . Help, perspective please!

[Clueless2]

Hello,
I need perspective: my mother is nondiagnosed BPD; unfortunately I have traits which I am trying to overcome. Eventhough I do not have the BPD diagnosis my husband continues to force this label on me ; in discussions he will talk about "the illness" causing me to be depressed, think a certain way , talk or act in a manner he is not comfortable with ( high emotion). It seems he is trying to separate me into either the persons he enjoys/ loves or this "illness". I am working with therapist ind & group trying to overcome the traits I abhor ( remember I grew up with a BPD mother. He is driving me cray - I want to run/ leave get away from this continued dialogue. I am trying to integrate myself into a whole healthy person & he's splitting me, - who I am . Help, perspective please!

[heartandwhole]

Hi Clueless2,

Welcome to  bpdfamily.    I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling right now. It's really understandable to feel depressed and like running away. Growing up with a mom with BPD undoubtedly had its challenges, and I commend you for taking steps to balance your emotions and change patterns that aren't working for you. That is a courageous thing to do.

What is the nature of your relationship with your mother these days? Are you in regular contact? Have her behaviors improved, or are there still challenges in your relationship?

heartandwhole