Intro

[Jason42]

I haven't done this before but I've listened to Walking on Eggshells and I feel like I need more than just information.  I'm engaged to my ex-wife who may have BPD but is undiagnosed. We have known each other for 20 years now and I believe it is best that we reconcile in spite of the challenges it presents. Every 4-6 weeks there is a significant disagreement that has an element of her threatening to walk away. It seems like she knows the power that the relationship has and how much pain it has brought to my life at times. We had one of those last night and I just need to be able to talk about it in a safe space.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[ArleighBurke]

Welcome!

I hope this can be a safe place for you. There are many people who live through what you are living through.

Talking with a BPD is a tricky thing in itself. Do you practise conversational Validation? Read about it here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=36.0

Also feel free to post specific conversations here: we can analyse it and provide you feedback.

How long were you married the first time? Why did you separate?

[Hisaccount]

Good for you. But are you sure this is what you want?
She hasn't changed. If you got over her, how hard was it, are you prepared to do it again?

What is happening to you is exactly what I want to happen. That maybe she can move on from my past mistakes and I can start making new ones.

Has she moved on and ready to start fresh?
Your disagreements you know they don't let those go and they will come back to haunt you later. Starting out like that doesn't sound too good to me at least for my situation.

On the same note, nobody probably know her better than you so you know the task at hand.