Beating around the bush and neglecting the main point

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I have noticed a communication problem of my STBX. It often annoys me. She often neglect to communicate the main point, the key part or a conversation, but instead wander off to endless details that distract people. She is like beating around the bush but she did it unconsciously.

She knows I like movies. So she tried talk to me about movies she though I will be interested. So I asked her some question to show interest

"What movie is it?"

"I don't remember the title."

"What is the genre?"

She did not give me a direct answer.

"What is the story?"

Then she start to describe the details of acts. "It opens with the man and woman preparing to go out for the evening. She ask him if he likes going to parties. Then he came back from the living room into the beadroom and said, and blah blah blah... ." She kept going on the full details not aware that she has already lost the audience's interest. I still didn't know what movie it is. I just sat there paying half attention. If I showed any disinterest she could be easily offended because she has low self esteem.

Today we went to see a therapist together for our kids issue. We talked about my son was spending more time with me recently. She again rambled on about her observation of his mindset and his behavior and our relationship and on and on. I have to find a chance to interrupt and inject the key information. She has follow through with the suggestion to go our to see her friends in the weekend. As a result, my son came over when she went out. She went on and on without mentioning the key reason that prompted the schedule change. Instead she confused the therapist with the irrelevant details. I found it annoying to hear her talk.

I'm just sounding off. I'm interest to hear if you know of this pattern or if you have any thought.

[half-life]

I have noticed a communication problem of my STBX. It often annoys me. She often neglect to communicate the main point, the key part or a conversation, but instead wander off to endless details that distract people. She is like beating around the bush but she did it unconsciously.

She knows I like movies. So she tried talk to me about movies she though I will be interested. So I asked her some question to show interest

"What movie is it?"

"I don't remember the title."

"What is the genre?"

She did not give me a direct answer.

"What is the story?"

Then she start to describe the details of acts. "It opens with the man and woman preparing to go out for the evening. She ask him if he likes going to parties. Then he came back from the living room into the beadroom and said, and blah blah blah... ." She kept going on the full details not aware that she has already lost the audience's interest. I still didn't know what movie it is. I just sat there paying half attention. If I showed any disinterest she could be easily offended because she has low self esteem.

Today we went to see a therapist together for our kids issue. We talked about my son was spending more time with me recently. She again rambled on about her observation of his mindset and his behavior and our relationship and on and on. I have to find a chance to interrupt and inject the key information. She has follow through with the suggestion to go our to see her friends in the weekend. As a result, my son came over when she went out. She went on and on without mentioning the key reason that prompted the schedule change. Instead she confused the therapist with the irrelevant details. I found it annoying to hear her talk.

I'm just sounding off. I'm interest to hear if you know of this pattern or if you have any thought.

[Monge]

My (now ex)pwBPD does this constantly.  I have made it a point over the past 3-4 months to ensure I understand whatever is the actual main idea she is trying to convey and often find myself asking questions about things so I can actually understand the message she is trying to deliver.  Unfortunately any questions tend to be met with "you should be listening better" or "that's what I was telling you" even though what is actually being said has little to do with the actual thoughts that are driving those words. 

I've found that asking questions to clarify what she means is often met with anger either because she feels this means I am not listening OR I am not giving her a chance to fully explain.  This applies whether I ask the questions after she stops her soliloquy or while it's still going on.  I haven't figured out a good way to approach these situations unfortunately

[Infern0]

They struggle with communication at times due to all the stuff going on in their head. I don't think we should sneer at them for that though.