New to site

[cfg87]

This is my first post. I am here to learn more about BPD and hopefully get some support. Although she isn't diagnosed, I'm nearly certain my mother had BPD. I was nearly in tears reading the description of the disorder because it sounds like it was written about her.

I am almost 30 years old and my heart still races with anxiety when my mom calls or texts me. I want so badly to be able to put all the anxiety and pain behind me. But I don't think I have quite come to terms with the fact that my mom will never change. She will be like this for the rest of her life and I have to understand that.

Thank you for taking the time to read. I'm interested to learn more from all of you.

[heartandwhole]

Hi cfg87,


You've come to the right place to learn about BPD and get support. You are not alone—members here have been in similar situations and understand what you are going through. The good news is that things can get better for you. They really can. It can be a difficult road, but very worth it.  

I can fully understand your racing heart and anxious feelings. While it feels terrible, it isn't uncommon, and there are things you can do to help center and rebalance your mind and emotions.

What behaviors have been the most difficult for you, cfg87?

Tell us more of your story when you are ready. We're here to listen and support you.

heartandwhole

[Fie]

Hello  

I want to echo Heartandwhole and welcome you to the community !

I relate to what you said about your anxiety when your mum calls or texts you. I have the same. I am pretty much no contact (NC) with my parents, but I have a daughter. They don't really seek contact with her either, but recently my daughter has reached out to them. So there were a few phone calls back and forth. Seeing my mum's number on my mobile made me so scared I had to get myself together and tell my hands to stop trembling so I could pick up the phone. I am also older than you, almost 38, so there you go  ;-)  You are certainly not alone in this !

I think it sounds very wise when you say you have to understand that your mum won't change. When did you discover about her BPD ?

xx

[garnet1007]

I am in a similar position with my mum & i also understand she will not change and that i need to do the changing that might let us both move on with our lives and have a less destructive way of life