Mother and Grandmother with BPD

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello,

I joined with the hopes of connecting with others who have similar experiences with a BPD parent. My mom was diagnosed a year ago and since then, I have been researching a lot on my own about this disorder to try and understand and make peace with so much childhood trauma and ongoing anxiety brought on by being raised by a BPD parent. Her mother has almost all the traits if BPD but has not been diagnosed. My family is fractured and has been since I was a child and with the diagnosis of my mother, so much is becoming clear for me. I'm 28 and trying to manage these relationships and create healthy boundaries through counseling.

Thank you for any advice

[Lander11488]

Hello,

I joined with the hopes of connecting with others who have similar experiences with a BPD parent. My mom was diagnosed a year ago and since then, I have been researching a lot on my own about this disorder to try and understand and make peace with so much childhood trauma and ongoing anxiety brought on by being raised by a BPD parent. Her mother has almost all the traits if BPD but has not been diagnosed. My family is fractured and has been since I was a child and with the diagnosis of my mother, so much is becoming clear for me. I'm 28 and trying to manage these relationships and create healthy boundaries through counseling.

Thank you for any advice

[Turkish]

It's good to get a diagnosis,  but while this is good to help you find resources,  get support, and learn more about BPD, it's the behaviors with which we have to deal with. 

How is your family fractured?

[Lander11488]

Very true.
As of now, we have limited contact with my Mom by her doing.  We (My husband, son and I) have no contact at all with my Grandmother as we decided that was best about a year ago when her constant negative and demeaning comments about my Mom (her daughter) and other family members became too much to deal with.  My mom also has no contact with her own Mother. My parents divorced 20 years ago and have both remarried - so I do have a great support system in my Father and his wife. I think this group will be a great tool for me.

[P.F.Change]

Glad you've joined us, Lander 11488!

My mother has BPD, and probably both grandmothers did as well. They both died when I was still elementary-aged, but from what I remember and the stories I've heard, it makes sense. On my father's side I also had an uncle and grandfather with Narcissistic PD. I understand where you're coming from. I have dealt with PTSD and anxiety/depression as a result of my upbringing.

It's great that you're looking after yourself and your boundaries, and that you have professional support. This community is a safe place to share and grow, too. In the right-hand margin, you'll see the Survivor's Guide. It outlines the three main stages of healing from a childhood like ours, and shows some examples of what you might experience during each stage. You can click the steps for greater detail.

Do you have anything in particular you'd like to learn about or work on? We'll look forward to hearing more from you as you're ready.