Need advice

[yellowgirl]

Hi Everyone,

My husband meets the criteria for BPD, although he's never been formally diagnosed by a therapist. We have a 5 month old baby girl. I've always struggled with receiving effection from him. The sweeter I am to him, the more distant he becomes. If I'm in a good mood, he's unkind until I'm no longer happy. Most recently, he told me about sexual abuse that occurred when he was 12 and again in his 20's. His mom passed when he was only 3. He is also a recovering alcoholic.

I have lots of questions, but the one I am concerned about right now is... .Are people with BPD, incapable of feeling love for someone?

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[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Yellowgirl:   

I think it's possible to love someone, but not be affectionate.  In your husband's case, it could have something to do with his history of sexual abuse.  

Sometimes, people behave the way they were treated.  If you husband grew up in an environment where affection in his family was not displayed, it can affect how he displays affection today.  Some people with ADHD/ADD or mild autism can have issues with affection as well.

Could any of this apply to your husband?