Discovering your own body as an adult

[Depression = 72% of members]

I have been wondering about something lately and been thinking whether anyone here can relate 

Growing up, I was by my uBPD/NPD mother made to feel very uncertain about my own body. My mother always hinted at that I was clumsy, no good at sports and a bit of a laughing stock when it came to physical capabilities.
I did not learn to ride a bike properly before I was about 11-12 years old, for instance, and my mother still likes to joke about and tell people how difficult it was for me. It may sound strange, but as an adult it dawned on me that my mother actually wanted me to be obese as a child - not fat, but just a bit heavier than I possibly should. I was, in every way, brought up to perceive myself as a bodily failure by my ex-model, ex-semi-pro handball-playing mother.

When I became an adult I lost weight and to this day my mother always with seemingly great concern remarks that I am far too skinny and that I look ill when she sees me. By any realistic measure, I am of a completely healthy weight, yet I can feel that she does not like that I am no longer obese. Also, as an adult I discovered that I am actually rather athletic - my lack of competence as a child in this field was simply due to that I was discouraged from using my body and the reason for that I could not ride a bike until my pre-teen years was simply that no one bothered to show me how. I had to figure everything out by myself - I had to discover my body and what it could do as an adult, so to speak.

I have always wondered what this was about. Was a daughter a potential threat to a good-looking, athletic mother? Does she need me to be "inferior" in this way?

[Sofie]

I have been wondering about something lately and been thinking whether anyone here can relate 

Growing up, I was by my uBPD/NPD mother made to feel very uncertain about my own body. My mother always hinted at that I was clumsy, no good at sports and a bit of a laughing stock when it came to physical capabilities.
I did not learn to ride a bike properly before I was about 11-12 years old, for instance, and my mother still likes to joke about and tell people how difficult it was for me. It may sound strange, but as an adult it dawned on me that my mother actually wanted me to be obese as a child - not fat, but just a bit heavier than I possibly should. I was, in every way, brought up to perceive myself as a bodily failure by my ex-model, ex-semi-pro handball-playing mother.

When I became an adult I lost weight and to this day my mother always with seemingly great concern remarks that I am far too skinny and that I look ill when she sees me. By any realistic measure, I am of a completely healthy weight, yet I can feel that she does not like that I am no longer obese. Also, as an adult I discovered that I am actually rather athletic - my lack of competence as a child in this field was simply due to that I was discouraged from using my body and the reason for that I could not ride a bike until my pre-teen years was simply that no one bothered to show me how. I had to figure everything out by myself - I had to discover my body and what it could do as an adult, so to speak.

I have always wondered what this was about. Was a daughter a potential threat to a good-looking, athletic mother? Does she need me to be "inferior" in this way?

[Notwendy]

My mother seemed to project her own issues with body image on to me. My mother was quite petite and dainty.  I was always a normal size, but in contrast to my petite dainty mother, was a tomboy who participated in sports. I also grew taller than she is, but I am not tall by any comparison to other women.

When I began to fill out as an adolescent, she told me I needed to lose weight. One of the more hurtful things was that she coerced my father to tell me I needed to lose weight. I know she put him up to this, but I am horrified that a father would say that to his preteen daughter.Many pre-teens add some padding to their frame before a growth spurt and I did this in a normal way. When I see old pictures of myself at that age, I was slim.

I think my mother has a form of eating disorder, and somehow I reflected something back to her. She also seemed to be in a sort of competition with me. Maybe like your mother ,mine seemed to make a point that I was built taller and larger frame than she is.

[Mister Watson]

My mother did the same, in a sense, where she would blatantly tell me that I was fat, and that I needed to lose weight, as a young pre-teen child. My father, eventually, was brought into this years past, but he wasn't as harsh as she was. He understood I was still a young kid, at the time, with a heck of a lot of insecurities.
Now, I feel, I too have re-discovered my own body. Many new changes will take place, regarding me, for multiple reasons, but in terms of my re-discovery, I feel I learned to love who I am, as well as the body I have. I suppose I haven't given it much thought until now, but I am quite proud of it.
This is a helpful thread you started!

[ijustwantpeace]

She does not want to loose you to a good man.  The more confident you become the more she will act out.  It is 100% pedictable.  My mom whips up the crazy making whenever I make progesterone in my life.  Her abandonment  fears are so strong she held me back in school rwice and worked incredibly  hard to destroy  my self confidence.  You best beat for a happy life is to pick a new city  3,000 miles away.  She threatened to follow  me to Texas.