Hello and welcome.
This community is intended to be a peer-to-peer support group, so you've come to the right place. Personally, I'm a bit over 3 years past divorce with my uBPDxw and I'm also learning how to change past behaviors - it's an ongoing process.
If you're comfortable sharing, can you provide some context... how long were you married? Any children? Ages? Any ongoing contact with your ex? Are you in/have you tried therapy? Is this your first post-D relationship?
In terms of resources, many of the exercises and workshops here are structured toward people who are in an active relationship with someone - partner, child, parent - with BPD. Interestingly, even though the focus appears to be on the pwBPD, all of the advice centers on what we can do to manage
our own feelings, thoughts, behaviors.
In fact, that's all anyone can do in any relationship - healthy or not.
Hope this doesn't come across as internet meme / greeting card advice - it can lead to important self-discovery and awareness for some.
If you're looking for a place to start, this is a good spot:
https://bpdfamily.com/content/triggering-and-mindfulness-and-wise-mindHope this is helpful. Again, welcome.
