what therapy helps

[Roper]

Hi,
My 42 year old daughter divorced with two young children has been diagnosed with generalised anxiety and mixed personality disorder.Her designated care worker has retired and it is clear that this help is not going to be replaced I believe she needs third party support from a therapist who is experienced in this diagnosis. My husband and I do try to help but this usually triggers her belief that she is the victim of her family upbringing/Awful ex husband Terrible work colleagues I appreciate this reaction is a standard pattern. I appreciate any therapist will not cure but might help.I would appreciate any advise on what type of therapy might assist her Thank you

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[CC43]

With the caveat that I'm not an expert, I'd say there are four critical components:  First, your daughter needs to buy into therapy for it to work--because therapy IS work.  Second, she needs a therapist she trusts.  Third, there's no magic/quick fix, and she'll need consistent, ongoing support until she's stable, as well as continued support after that, in all likelihood.  And fourth, a therapist with expertise in BPD would be a plus.

If there are co-existing conditions like anxiety or depression, it's likely that your daughter would need a psychiatrist as well, in order to obtain medications.  But I think a therapist is probably enough for BPD if no medications for co-existing conditions are necessary.

In an ideal world, your daughter would view you as an ally and authorize her therapist to share information with you if it were deemed helpful.  Maybe this scenario would seem more acceptable if your daughter were a young adult and still reliant on you.  I can attest that with my young adult BPD stepdaughter, the ability for her dad (her ally) to "check in" with her therapist, understand what was going on and outline some life strategies at critical junctures was very helpful, as were some joint therapy sessions.

Good luck.