Don't recognise who they are now

[hotchip]

Unfortunately, I still get updates re uBPDx every now and then. It seems they are arrogant, bloviating, blaming and lashing out at others, inconsistent and hypocritical, generally contemptuous of other people.

Their current partner (the person they cheated with, my former friend) is also similarly contemptuous of others, harming people and not avknowledging it, and shifting blame to everyone but themself.

It's so different from the reflective, thoughtful person I thought I knew.

It's very sad.

[Under The Bridge]

Some BPD gets considerably worse over time and it can happen very suddenly sometimes.

I eventually ended my own 4-year relationship after her most horrific outburst which left me thinking 'I don't know this person, is this the real person I'm now seeing?'  It actually scared me and I finally realised it had to end.

That was 38 years ago - quite some time. Never heard anything from her since even though she's actually been living just a couple of miles away from me for the last 25 years. One of my friends was a local rent officer at the time and he recognised her when she came to pay rent.

A few years ago I bumped into her sister-in-law and she said that my ex had never got any better and would often break up with her current partner. In the end she cut off all contact with her family and hasn't been seen for the last 8 years.

I definitely dodged a bullet and that's the way you should look at it too.  My mental and physical health declined while with her and God knows how bad I'd be now had I stayed.

Yes, it's sad when we love someone so much and things just dont work out like we want.  I hope your life is good now that the chaos is over.

[hotchip]

Thank you, Under the Bridge. In fact some long held plans and dreams have turned out quite beautifully, and it's a very special time. I know this couldn't happen with the dishonest deadweight that was uBPDx demanding all my effort and attention. I'm sad for what they did (and sometims quite horrified and dusgusted). But I'm happy it's turned out as it has.

[hotchip]

Also sorry to hear your BPDx has not taken the many chances that must have occurred these last 38 years to turn things round...