UBPDexgf moved out of state

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Well 4 months after a soul crushing discard and 8 months after the beginning of devaluing me. She moved out of state to the state her family lives...

I had thought this whole time she was moving in with her family. Low and behold she's not... she's moving to a city next to them.

Here I was thinking that I wasn't cheated on the entire relationship... I thought she left be is was "too controlling". But something is suspicious about this move to florida. She started to devalue me after returning from a week trip to her parents in florida. I didn't think anything of it because she had no car to get around in and was visiting her mother who recently died of cancer.

But now I think something was up... the second trip to florida she returned back and this time she spent the night in the second bedroom for no reason. I think she was on her phone the entire night.

Now she's moving to florida... .even though her mom is dead and there's really no reason for her to even be there...

She still has photos of us kissing and photos of us up on her facebook. I had complete access to her facebook after the break up but I just have this horrible feeling she found a guy in florida... it just doesn't add up.

[alwayswrong4]

Well 4 months after a soul crushing discard and 8 months after the beginning of devaluing me. She moved out of state to the state her family lives...

I had thought this whole time she was moving in with her family. Low and behold she's not... she's moving to a city next to them.

Here I was thinking that I wasn't cheated on the entire relationship... I thought she left be is was "too controlling". But something is suspicious about this move to florida. She started to devalue me after returning from a week trip to her parents in florida. I didn't think anything of it because she had no car to get around in and was visiting her mother who recently died of cancer.

But now I think something was up... the second trip to florida she returned back and this time she spent the night in the second bedroom for no reason. I think she was on her phone the entire night.

Now she's moving to florida... .even though her mom is dead and there's really no reason for her to even be there...

She still has photos of us kissing and photos of us up on her facebook. I had complete access to her facebook after the break up but I just have this horrible feeling she found a guy in florida... it just doesn't add up.

[Duped 1]

I wish mine would move away!

[once removed]

hi alwayswrong4,

how are you feeling about this recent news?

[AustenJ]

I wish mine would move away too! LOL

She has said since last fall that she does not like teaching and planned to move back to Chicago to be closer to her family for support... .maybe do pharmaceutical sales (she's afraid to talk to parents and other adults so I don't know how she will have the nerve to do sales).

But she usually doesn't get along with her family so I never understood why she wanted to move closer to them... .

My second hope was that she would get pink slipped by the district, but I don't think that's gonna happen either... .I will just have to deal with it.

[Gear Jammer]

I was sad my ex moved out of town but after thinking about it I'm glad she's gone I don't have to worry about her seeing me being she's a 100kms away

[Lucky Jim]

I just have this horrible feeling she found a guy in florida... it just doesn't add up.

Hey alwayswrong4, I'm sorry to hear that you are in pain.  Four months is a relatively short time after the b/u, so try to treat yourself with compassion and care.  Needless to say, you can't control what your Ex elects to do.  It's tempting to ascribe motives to her move and you could be right.  Maybe; maybe not.  It seems like you're beating yourself up trying to fill in the blanks.  Are you?  Presumably you parted ways for a reason.  What was it?  If your Ex has BPD, the bottom line is that in the long run you'll be much better off having moved on.  In the meantime, I know it's hard.

LuckyJim

[alwayswrong4]

It seems like you're beating yourself up trying to fill in the blanks.  Are you?  Presumably you parted ways for a reason.  What was it? 

LuckyJim

HI Jim, I'm definitely beating myself up because I'm left with so many unanswered questions about a woman I thought I'd be spending the rest of my life with. I find myself trying to peice together what happened so I can forsee what she'll do in the future. I know I shouldn't and it's hard... but I loved her so deeply.

We parted ways because I couldn't take the disrespect after the devaluing began.

[Lucky Jim]

I find myself trying to peice together what happened so I can forsee what she'll do in the future.

Hey alwayswrong4, The reality is that you can't forsee what she'll do in the future, so I suggest you let go of this exercise, which is bound to end in frustration.  Instead of beating yourself up, I suggest you treat yourself well, with care and compassion.  BPD is extremely complex and I doubt anything you might have done would have changed the outcome, so try limit your ruminations.  It's hard, but will get better.

LuckyJim

[alwayswrong4]

Hey alwayswrong4, The reality is that you can't forsee what she'll do in the future, so I suggest you let go of this exercise, which is bound to end in frustration.  Instead of beating yourself up, I suggest you treat yourself well, with care and compassion.  BPD is extremely complex and I doubt anything you might have done would have changed the outcome, so try limit your ruminations.  It's hard, but will get better.

LuckyJim

Yea I've been working on it... it's just the strange way she left... and how she leaves pics of us up on her facebook... I'm the only guy she has pictures with... and how she texts me every so often (I ignore them)... .I don't know if she's staging some sort of comeback or what... she left me with so many questions... I felt true live from her many times in our relationship... it's so hard to let go but I'm trying.