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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Final chapter?  (Read 381 times)
Cosuffer

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 26



« on: March 09, 2017, 08:52:18 AM »

Hi everybody.

First i recommend you to read my whole story here. Thought

So now you know what ivd been trough.

Status now are that I'm almost out of her webb. Yesterday I unblocked her from everything because I no longer feel anything. No fear, anger, sadness and I almost never think about her or what she' doing, thinking, feeling and all the other stuff I used to spend enormous amount of energi on.

To sitt here today and write this and looking back at the last 8 months I feel a tremendous relief and happiness. At my darkest moments I was almost suicidal so depressed and worn out was I !

So for those of you who right now are in a similar place after a breakup. Remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but to see the light you have to have been in the dark.

There is no recipe for getting better, but there are some things that will make it a little less painful, and maybe help you to move in the right direction and focus your energi on the right things. It's a constant struggle between the basics in your brain (behaviorism) and your hart (feelings).

First things first. You have to convert you mind pattern to stop thinking about your ex and start thinking about yourself. For a long while I was thinking: What does she thinks,feel,do, say and so on and so on. Slowly driving myself insane. So Try to think, How do I feel, what can I do to get better, What do I feel like doing and what makes ME happy.

To make that whole process easier you should psychically remove yourself away from him/her. Stop having any form for contact, delet phone numbers and other "traps" for you to be reminded of your ex.
Do something you always wanted to do. Travle or just be with your friends and family. The importen thing here is to keep your mind occupy with other things than sitt around thinking!. You might want to seek professional help. Because it can be pretty intense and to be honest your friends and family have their limits as well! 

I know it sounds ridicules easy to say just do so and so, when your in the situation, but suddenly one day you'll stop and realize that it's been more than 5 hours since you last thought og your ex Doing the right thing (click to insert in post). And when that day comes you are very close to se the light at the end of the tunnel  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

Of course you should give yourself time to grief. You lost someone that you loved, but don't swallow around in it. Cry, scream get it out your system and then pick yourself up and look forward! Bullet: important point (click to insert in post)

Without this site and my family and friends I would still be stuck in the couch and thinking and letting my ex control me, without even having any contact with her! That' what they do to you, and the scary part is, they don't do it on purpose. It's their way of surviving and moving on. unless they get professional help. See thats the kicker to it all. I spent so much time and energi trying to make sense at it all, but couldn't understand why she would do the things she did, and say the things she said. In my mind it didn't make any sense.

So forget the idea of a closure, maybe one day, but properly not. So move on and make YOU happy again!
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hopealways
aka moving4ward
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 725


« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2017, 10:54:38 PM »

I wish more people would read this excellent post. You have made many great points, especially that the BPD are trying to survive.  We take the horrible things they do personally and try to figure them out which is IMPOSSIBLE.  It's not personal, they act this way because this is their method of survival. 
Having said that, don't feel sorry for them, try to fix them, or make excuses for them. Grieve, get therapy, heal, and make a better person of yourself after all this.
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