Deattaching.. will she reachout?

[rosesarered777]

I know that there is no definitive answer to this but I have not seen her for a year and have become very distant as a result. I know she has someone new and I am half-expecting it to fall apart now that it's been almost 6 months. Have no idea what the personality of the new guy is but I heard even the most saintly of patient people will eventually start to crack from BPD behaviour.

It's a new situation as I have never stayed out of contact for this long from her. For some reason, the holiday season always caused us to break up in the past and around July-July once the weather got good. So early Xmas and early summer. Not sure why but probably because she wanted to try new ventures.

[Eazie520]

Anything is possible with a BPD. My ex has contacted me after a 13 month NC and he's contacted me as soon as 3 weeks.  It all depends on where he is emotionally and mentally.  All you can do is focus on yourself and healing from the relationship. 

[Huh?]

I've been in 3 relationships with disordered women.

1st overt NPD=discarded 9 years ago, never heard from again

2nd Cluster B = discarded 6 years ago, never heard from again.  Saw her out and about twice over the years, both time she acted like I was invisible.

3rd covert NPD waif/hermit = I ended it 8 months ago due to her cheating/lack of commitment. Haven't heard from since, and considering she gave me the silent treatment after a fight until I caved and cut off her own mom for 7 years... .I'm sure I wont hear from her again as well.

So yeah, they don't always come back... .even if you treat them better than they deserved.

[Larmoyant]

Hi rosesarered777, I often wonder this myself. I’ve been full nc for 11 weeks or so now and he did send me one text (in spam file) which I chose not to reply to. It was a struggle. He hasn’t tried again and it makes me feel sad because I still miss him despite all the trauma. It makes me realise that I’m not completely detached from him yet. Can I ask are you hoping to hear from her?

[hopealways]

Remember, it is never about you or how amazing you were it is about what they need. If they aren't getting sufficient validation from another source and they feel they can get it from you then they will.

But most important is that you really should move on no matter how hard and painful it may seem.