First post

[Lakebreeze]

Hi! This is my first post here. I have never been on a website that described my own experience so articulately. To think that I'm not alone in the tip toeing on egg shells, and the trying so hard to please. Wondering how I could be so deficient as a wife that I can never make my husband happy.
We have been married for 5 years. They have been the most stressful years of my life. We have 4 children.
I hope I can find the help I need to grow peace in my soul and bring some sunshine back into my life ! Thank you.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[JoeBPD81]

Welcome to the family, Lakebreeze,

we all have felt stresed and not good enough to make our loved ones happy. It is a draining experience all right. I'm sure you're going to find small pearls of light that make life better as we all do here. At the very least this is a safe place to talk about your frustrations where you wont be judged and you'll be understood.

We arive here because we care. There is plenty of people who wouldn't stay, plenty of people who don't look further than "this person is too much trouble". But we know that's not fair. We know there is a wonderful person burried beneath all that pain and baggage. Here we find that caring is not enough, it's really important, but we make things by instinct that are very good in normal cincumstances, but they make our loved one alert, defensive or extremelly sad. And we wonder what did go wrong.

Many things (that we have to do or that we have to stop doing) are not intuitive, and it's just a matter of learning those, and once you read them, they make a lot of sense, and it just takes some practicing to make them intuitive and an automatic response. Just don't feel overwhelmed from how much there is to learn, bit by bit, sometimes a single sentence opens a new path that gives you a lot of peace. I'm sure you are super busy with 4 kids, and life goes on, it doesn't wait for you to get "educated" on BPD, so you learn as you go. But it does get better. I hope you stick around to tell us how your life has improved.

Good luck .