A picture speaks a thousand words,or a million words if your BPD partner sees it

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

A realisation as to what was the final element that made my BPD ex gf end it.

I had been on Facebook for years but a while after my relationship started with my now ex, I came of Facebook due to her behaviour and attitude as to the endless jokes and humour I posted on there (didn't realise at the time but it was controlling behaviours).

So I went back on fake book for a couple of days on my birthday.

I have a lot of female friends and some I am very close to. So I posted photos of each of my female friends with me, tagged them into the photo thanking them for their support. 4 photos in total of me with a different female, none of the photos were compromising in any way and one of the 4 photos was me and my ex.

She was always paranoid that I was so popular that I was probably seeing other women (I wasn't Seeing anyone else), yet after 4 short break ups in the 12 months we were together, she would sleep with other men.

I know now that she was angry that I had posted photos of me with female friends (she knew we were friends and nothing more), yet was so paranoid the whole time.

I once read on this forum 'BPDS make the rules, break the rules and rewrite the rules, but we are expected to keep to them and god forbid if you break any or challenge them on it'.

I remember sitting in a restaurant when she was talking to me whilst drunk (I was sober as I don't drink) and I looked at her and the rubbish she was spouting and thought to myself 'what the hell am I doing being with her', this attractive woman walked past our table and I looked up at the female and... .you can imagine the reaction. We drove home and she had gone into her 'safe place' and was not engaging at all as she had her feelings of abandonment kicking in (I wasn't abandoning her)

Why on earth do we get into this.

I was only with her for 12 months and it badly affected me, can't believe people who stay in such relationships for many many years, I don't know how you do it

[Mavrik]

A realisation as to what was the final element that made my BPD ex gf end it.

I had been on Facebook for years but a while after my relationship started with my now ex, I came of Facebook due to her behaviour and attitude as to the endless jokes and humour I posted on there (didn't realise at the time but it was controlling behaviours).

So I went back on fake book for a couple of days on my birthday.

I have a lot of female friends and some I am very close to. So I posted photos of each of my female friends with me, tagged them into the photo thanking them for their support. 4 photos in total of me with a different female, none of the photos were compromising in any way and one of the 4 photos was me and my ex.

She was always paranoid that I was so popular that I was probably seeing other women (I wasn't Seeing anyone else), yet after 4 short break ups in the 12 months we were together, she would sleep with other men.

I know now that she was angry that I had posted photos of me with female friends (she knew we were friends and nothing more), yet was so paranoid the whole time.

I once read on this forum 'BPDS make the rules, break the rules and rewrite the rules, but we are expected to keep to them and god forbid if you break any or challenge them on it'.

I remember sitting in a restaurant when she was talking to me whilst drunk (I was sober as I don't drink) and I looked at her and the rubbish she was spouting and thought to myself 'what the hell am I doing being with her', this attractive woman walked past our table and I looked up at the female and... .you can imagine the reaction. We drove home and she had gone into her 'safe place' and was not engaging at all as she had her feelings of abandonment kicking in (I wasn't abandoning her)

Why on earth do we get into this.

I was only with her for 12 months and it badly affected me, can't believe people who stay in such relationships for many many years, I don't know how you do it