What's your ex doing today?

[LonelyChild]

I left my uBPDxgf 2-3 years ago (hard to give a date; many of you will understand why). Although I loved her (or rather, was attached to her in some pathological manner), looking back, it was never a satisfying or good relationships (except for short moments).

Today, a couple of years later, I've gone through studies, I have a really high salary, I'm super successful, although pretty depressed. I don't really value relationships with other people much anymore (maybe I never did?). Why? Because I feel they don't really give me anything. It's like everyone is half-asleep, not really being in reality. I think this feeling is caused by me always being alert and analyzing the environment (perhaps out of fear?). I dream now and then—almost every day to be honest—about finding that special someone and being able to calm down a bit, feeling at ease with life rather than being constantly stressed. Every woman I date is a disappointment. They don't have any deep passion, they are not super smart or super ambitious like I am, they don't have an interesting story, they don't lead an interesting life. Basically, they are *normal, healthy people*. Which apparently doesn't work for me.

My ex is now 25. I left her entirely a few months after her coming out of a mental ward (being there for three months). Too much hatred, abuse, anger etc. What's she doing today?

Well, she's never had a job. Not a single one. She's on welfare and can't support herself. She has no education (not even high school). Her family doesn't want anything to do with her (her brother refuses to speak to her, basically, and her mother and father want her in their life as little as possible). She doesn't have a home, but only a room in some collective accommodation where she literally only has a room (not even her own, private bathroom). She's made everyone there into an enemy and they fight a lot. They've threatened to throw her out because she throws things and trash everywhere. She only hangs out with drug addicts and does drugs. During the time in the mental ward she gained so much weight that she got stretch marks literally everywhere. Because of meds she lost five teeth. Can you imagine, at the age of 25? I feel so sorry for her, although this really is karma. (Meaning, I understand that her abuse as a child caused this. I went through an abusive childhood as well. But the lying, aggressiveness, violence etc, are things that she should take responsibility for.) She's an absolute wreck and will probably die before the age of 30.

I'm glad I've left her because I was obviously completely blind to what kind of person I was with and what the situation was like. Still, I'm really depressed and can't really find anything to enjoy in life.

What's your ex's life like today?

[Turkish]

I'm glad I've left her because I was obviously completely blind to what kind of person I was with and what the situation was like. Still, I'm really depressed and can't really find anything to enjoy in life.

What's your ex's life like today?

Do you think your ex has anything to do with the way you feel?

[happendtome]

I wouldnt want that kind of future for my ex and i believe she wont have it either.
I know that it would hurt me a lot if i would see anything like this happening. But luckily, my ex is high functioning. So i just want her out of my mind.

Having said this then i have become very cafeful who i let near to me. I dont want any extra dramas to my life. My ex caused me enough dramas already.

[LonelyChild]

Do you think your ex has anything to do with the way you feel?

Yes and no; I'm surely traumatized by our r/s, but then again, I would never have stayed in it weren't it for my own childhood. I'm absolutely not "stuck" on her, but there is also really nothing else to move on to. I come from emptiness, but that emptiness became more unbearable after experiencing something else. I think you understand what I mean.

[Idsrvt2]

He is still projecting to be some person that makes others laugh... .and projecting on,one he's not going to be reclusive, something I tried so hard with.

He walks with his head down a lot, still has issues with thinking he's too tall... .wears sunglasses on overcast days... no expression on his face

How do I know? He's my letter carrier

He lived a horrible life... one which he laid on a floor next to a computer or slept in a chair which started when he was on a fake life site ... .he had started therapy so I hope he is still going as he needs it.

He's a recluse yet while working projects to be outgoing... .it's so beyond confusing and why I feel so duped .   I know he suffers a lot... .he has no friends