Hi I'm new here

[SavingJ]

I don't know yet what to say but i first want to say Hi all,

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[wendydarling]

Hi there JacobJ   and welcome to bpdfamily

I'm glad you found us, take your time friend, you are not alone.   

What's on your mind, what is happening?

WDx 

[SavingJ]

Hi Wendy,

thank you so much for the warmth. its what i needed. i have a hard time expressing myself so the little  i write means a lot. sometime it means a lot of pain, sadness, confusion, or just a lot of things i really want to say.

i was married for 10 years, i have 4 kids.

i broke up with my (suspected) PBD wife 6 months ago.

I'm very confused as to what to do. Ideally i'd want to go back. but i obviously can't return to the live i had or we'll have to break up again. things have to be different.

I'm very low confidence. i don't know where I'm wrong and where its her problem. and most importantly how to fix/change things.

i think a good beginning would be to read the book 'stop walking on eggshells", i would need a study partner for motivation and commitment. if someone is interested please reach out to me in private message.

money for proper therapy is also an issue.

i love my wife and kids but had too difficult a life living with her that i couldn't take it anymore and had to leave.

after reading about BPD i strongly suspect her of having it. i actually saw a specialist on BPD who said "although she can't give a diagnosis with the identified patient not being present she would bet money that my wife suffers from a personality disorder." Based on what i told her about my wife.

any support is appreciated.

bye now.

  

[Rosey87]

Hey SavingJ, I'm new here too. Going through a hell of a time myself with my GF right now. I pray and hope for the best possible outcome for everyone here. Hoping you find some people to reach out and talk to. Have a great one.

[Emotions]

Guess what? I'm going to an emotional roller coaster too. You are def not alone! After 7.5 years mine is with another guy that "she isn't going to dump just to see if we can make it work" well she has known him for a friggin month and a half. Me 7 years of bending over backward. While I seek therapy and refocus my thoughts 24/7 she is out having a gay ol time with her new friends. I'm eating a poop sandwich everyday and it tastes gross. But the wiseman in me says to keep moving and not let this get me down. You need to love yourself and think about yourself more than you think of your ex. It's almost impossible the first couple of weeks, but if you put half  as much sweat and effort into yourself as you did for your ex for a few weeks, (feels like an eternity) I PROMISE it gets better. Good luck and work hard on getting your soul back