Can BPD be released from therapy

[PaticAttack]

Not sure where I should post this, but I have a question about my exBPD.  She told me that her therapist released her from therapy.  I dont remember the specifics, I was unaware of what BPD was and did not realize that it doesnt seem curable.  Is it possible that she reached a place that she wouldnt need to seek further treatment?  Our relationship never got crazy, but we didnt date for long either.

Thanks much!

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi, I wonder too what "released from therapy" means. Do you know how long she went for? Huh. Is there more context to her announcing this to you? Like, did she say she was "cured" or there is nothing that can be done so she stopped going, or? I guess it depends on the country you are in, but my understanding is that with insurance they have a typical number of sessions in mind (10 maybe?) and I guess you can stop when you reach them or go on if it is determined there is a continuing need.

Don't worry so much about "cures" I would also say. There are lots of illnesses in the world without cures, but that are manageable. Perhaps best to slot this into the (possibly) manageable category. But it does take a lot of work from the partner as well. This isn't just their illness, it is something that affects you greatly and it also becomes a big part of your life. Ya know? Take care!

[PaticAttack]

I am not sure, she had mentioned going to her therapist and that she was able to manage her BPD so she no longer need to go.  We had a long distance relationship and met each other every few weeks .  We did have a lot of facetime happening and I was under the impression that we were both equally serious about our relationship.  She told me she had BPD after we met a few times, I had no idea what it was and she asked me not to look into it, naive of me not to now looking back.  She told me that she managed it with mindfulness and that she was high functioning.  We never talked about it, I also did not want her to feel intruded on by asking about it or putting her in a box.  I see now that she painted me black when I had told her about some past addiction that I had and was managing myself.  She had met someone else and broke it off with me.  So I am not sure that she can manage it without further therapy.  I would change so much about our interactions if I had understood what BPD was at the time, Im sure I unknowingly triggered her in many way.  It really sucks, I love her.   I am now trying to understand all of this, even though I dont think we will get back together.

[pearlsw]

Hi again, I think that is great that you are learning about this and can make more sense of what happened in hindsight. At the least, you are ready if she does come back into your life. 

I have had 2 relationships with brilliant, amazing people with these unfortunate issues. The first one ended very suddenly and I had no idea, though suspected this. He did self-harm, but not the typical kind you see written about. (The internet was thinner 10 years ago.) He punched himself in the head EXTREMELY hard (not cutting), and had a lot of internalized rage/self-hatred, so I simply could not find any information that made sense at the time. Now I get it.

We never got back together, and it took a few years for me to say it out loud, but I am grateful we didn't. It helped me to process the experience by learning about and realizing why it ended that way. But I wish I had not walked into this again a second time. I attributed to other real factors in his life that would cause anyone stress, and it looked different with this other person. While I knew something was "way off" I didn't get it, couldn't put my finger on it, until over 6 years into the new situation. So, something to keep in mind. I think I would never get into another relationship without having up front/clear conversations about mental health. It is not an easy journey in life.  Another person's health is something you can manage with or support, but not have a strong sense of stability with. Take care!