Mixed Signals

[Shedd]

Hi!

So me and my ex have been getting along wonderfully, but it's been slightly confusing for me.  We've been trying to be friends, but she knows I still like her.  Especially since my confession this last Saturday when I told her part of the reason why I can't let her go... .

But even after I told her all that she told me "We have to be friends and that's the way it has to be," but after that... .

She let me call her? And we talked on the phone for a half hour? Granted we both had been drinking, but she told me she was seeing someone. I am a little jealous, but I'll get over it as I want her to be happy and figure it out before we even try again (if we do).  But a couple weeks ago I asked her if she wanted to go to a concert with me in Vegas, and she said, "Yes." Now I know she could have just been saying it at the time and will change her mind tomorrow, but please tell me... .

If she's dating other girls and seeing other people why would she be saying all this stuff to me, texting me, letting me call her especially after I loaded a whole bunch of crap on her. If I was the girl she was seeing I would be PISSED.  She even told me the girl "Wasn't her gf." Why does she need to clarify that with me?  It's all just super confusing and mixed messages.  I think actions speak louder than words so telling me "We have to be friends." Doesn't sit well with me especially since we've broken up like 5 times and got back together... .

  I get she needs to experience new people and explore, but I feel like she's keeping me at a distance until she's ready to date me again.  She's been in at least 3 relationships since we broke up and they clearly aren't working, and the girls have all looked like me because I have seen them on FB.  Feedback would be helpful! Thank you!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

I'm sorry you are feeling so confused. It sounds like both of you want to continue being friends. This could be an opportunity for you to set up some boundaries on what is friend behavior vs what is relationship behavior and to let her know that when she does X, then you feel like things could be romantic.

What would you consider to be friend only behavior? What do you consider to be relationship behavior?