Did your ex ever really hang out with your friends?

[roberto516]

I brought up to my therapist yesterday about how my ex never really wanted to spend time with my friends. I'd invite her to go places with us and she would always say no. On the flip side, I only hung out with her and a friend on one day for a couple hours. Near the end she was uncertain about going to meditation with a friend and I said I would go with her too as it was something I'd like to do and get to meet this friend (thinking it would provide us more of a social life to begin to spend time with other people together). Her response was "No. I want my time with friends to be alone time."

After the breakup and before the recycle I spoke to a good friend of mine and he looked at me and said "You realize it has been over a year and a half you've been together and I have never met this person?" Seems like she almost wanted to keep me to herself but I don't know why she wouldn't ever want to go on double dates or spend anytime with me and my friends for activities. Even my coworker who was her friend would always come up to me (after my ex took a new job) and say "We all have to get together for a double date sometime". I'd just smile and tell her that it was up to my ex as I was always up for that but she wasn't. I get the self-centered part but is that all there was to it? Maybe fear of engulfment as well?

[Mavrik]

I had this same but the other way around. I didn't want her to meet my friends as she had a habit of getting drunk and saying the wrong thing (wholly inappropriate)

The reason they keep us a secret from their own friends and associate is so that people don't know they are in a relationship and so they can cheat and have multiple relationships.

I only met 1 of her friends in the 12 months we were together. We went out loads but I was never allowed to tag her in with me on Facebook locations or photos of us together

I later found out the in the 12 months we were together she saw 6 other people

Are you sure you were the only one

[roberto516]

Yeah... .I think . I mean she'd tag me in everything and always want me around. Just didn't want to be around anyone with me unless it was her family. Outside of that she was a hermit with me.