Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
October 31, 2024, 06:38:25 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
222
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Am I going Crazy or is this just more BPD Mind Games  (Read 528 times)
T-riddle

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Friend
Posts: 12


« on: August 16, 2017, 06:06:09 PM »

Hey guys so I unfortunately made the Mistake of falling for my xBPD's H o o v e r. In my last posts i mentioned that my BPDx sent me a text after 2months of NC, saying "I wish I still had you... you are definitely one of the best people I've ever come across in my existence. I'm sorry my ways* got in the way of us being close/ continuing this relationship... .I just want to let you know that days like this, I miss you." I stupidly responded. Well we've been communicating off and on lately and last Friday she kept messaging me that she would love to see me on Saturday, and i told her that I unfortunately worked late Saturday but that i would be off Sunday and Monday. She said she would send me her schedule so that we could meet up. However, I'm getting this gut feelings that she is covertly punishing me. She claims she misses me but when i asked her when she would like to so see me she said let me look at my calendar and preceded to say that she would be free a week from the day we spoke. I told her i was extremely hurt by this because, she sent me countless messages about how she misses me and how i'm so important to her but now that i am back in her life, she is showing no urgency to see me at all. She is acting rather indifferent about me. I did manage to ask her why she doesn't want to see me sooner, seeing as though SHE is the one who contacted me and begged me to be in her life again, and she said well i only have two days off and I want to go see so and so... .We have talked pretty much everyday since the reingagement, and some days she idealizes me and then other days she acts too busy... .Classic BPD, but i want your honest opinion guys, am i overeating or what? I just don't see how someone who tells you they Miss you and love you can show you such indifference, and especially choose blatant strangers over someone they "claim" is so special to them. Can someone help me rationalize this.
Logged
Confusedpe
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 89


« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2017, 08:43:11 PM »

As someone who is currently struggling with a recycle I can tell you from my experiences that it's nothing but a control tactic and unfortunately she won this round with you

She texted u to see if she still has some control and by responding u affirmed to her 'yes u still have me even though I've been NC'

Now try this, ignore her next attempts to contact u, literally just ignore her completely, I bet she will escalate her attempts to contact u and when she keeps hitting a wall she will start the love bombing all over again to try and woo you

Unfortunately the thrill of the chase is always better than the catch, if u can keep a BPD in chase mode forever she would make a decent partner
Logged
Emotions
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 208


« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2017, 09:57:11 PM »

It could be that she is nervous to see you, and wants the timing to be right, maybe be cool and control your thoughts and emotions, and just see where it goes. I'm a hopeless romantic, so I always want the best for love... .Then again, I don't know your situation and suggest you trust your instincts... .It really could be a lot of things both positive and negative can happen, or something in between, but be true to yourself and stay focused on yourself and be genuine is my vote. Is so and so another guy?
Logged

Train your mind to be calm in every situation
Like an island that no flood can overwhelm
In these times we must act like the eye of the hurricane
"It takes a nation of millions to hold us back" (public enemy)
T-riddle

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Friend
Posts: 12


« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2017, 01:28:36 AM »

It could be that she is nervous to see you, and wants the timing to be right, maybe be cool and control your thoughts and emotions, and just see where it goes. I'm a hopeless romantic, so I always want the best for love... .Then again, I don't know your situation and suggest you trust your instincts... .It really could be a lot of things both positive and negative can happen, or something in between, but be true to yourself and stay focused on yourself and be genuine is my vote. Is so and so another guy?

Yes "so and so" is another guy. She was honest with me about it. She is back dating an ex of hers which i'm honestly okay with. I mean i won't say he's a downgrade but i do know that me and her have a lot more in common. We have 3 hour conversations, and she's very open with me about everything. She is very off and on with this guy. One minute she tells me they have nothing in common and that he is boring, and then she tells me she might move back in with him. I don't really look into what she says because well as we all know, it's almost impossible to discern how a pwBPD REALLY feels, lords knows it fluctuates constantly. I would just like her words to match her actions. If she misses me... .well make an effort to see me. If you really think you screwed up the first time, lets make an effort to make things right. It just hurts that we only live like 25min away from each other, yet she has been avoiding seeing me. She'll call me and tell me she hasn't done anything all day, and I'm like HELLO why not spend time with me, if your day is so dry. It's like she'd rather be bored and alone than come see the person she so called misses... .ughhh gotta love the borderline 
Logged
Xeonrebel
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 53


« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2017, 07:10:47 AM »

I might go with the punishment you said. i was charmed almost like you, but in a covert way. She send some tweets about missing being taken care by someone (her twitter account is only known by me and her). The moment we got back she started behaving bad, telling me only to want friendship, didnt invite me to a concert even if she knew i wanted to go or out of respect for not being in my birthday.long story short, 3 months later i told her she was being abusive, now i'm getting the silent treatment for 2 months and counting.
Logged
RomanticFool
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1076


« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2017, 07:52:36 AM »

Excerpt
if u can keep a BPD in chase mode forever she would make a decent partner

This is one of the most profound things I have read on here. Wouldn't it be wonderful? However, it is impossible and once she perceives she has you then she will lose interest or go back to focusing on her own preoccupations whatever they may be on any given day. She is seeing another man and is, by her own admission, blowing hot and cold towards him, just as she is doing with you. Save yourself years of heartache. Do not recycle this r/s.
Logged

Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!