What happened?
Sorry. I accidentally hit save long before I was finished and exceeded the edit time limit.
I met her during a nursing class in 2015. She expressed some interest in me during her divorce proceedings and we finally started dating after it was finalized.
The infatuation stage didn't seem much different than that of my previous relationships, although she did tell me how I made her happier than her ex-husband ever did.
About 4 months in, something happened that portended all the conflict (little did I know at the time) to come. I asked for a hug and she snapped at me. When I took exception to that, she told me to get the ___ out her house. I thought it was just an extreme manifestation of depression. We eventually reconciled after she admitted to being insecure and fearful of being cheated on again.
We moved into an apartment together at the 6-month mark and this is when things took a turn for the worse. Nothing I did was good enough. Every trivial conflict would trigger a childish temper. It felt like everything I did was becoming a deal-breaker to her. There was never any conflict resolution. It was just her yelling until she got her way followed by me pleading for her to stay.
There were significant stretches where she appeared to be at ease in the relationship and would show me what seemed to be real, authentic love. Then out of nowhere she would cause chaos where none should have existed. Often there were no apparent triggers. This left me in a perpetual state of confusion.
The most perplexing thing, however, is the way in which she abruptly dumped me. She called me one day from work just to tell me she missed me that we should make more time to spend together, totally convincing me that everything was right with the world. A week later she was gone, never to be seen again. She simply changed her mailing address one day while I was at work and packed up to go live with a girl friend in another town.
The aftermath of the breakup created cognitive dissonance, the likes of which I had never experienced before. She texted me telling me she missed me and that she was depressed about us. She assured me that she still loved me but that we both needed to change before we could reconcile. After doing extensive reading about BPD, I learned that this their way of exerting control. But at the time I was convinced that we could rekindle our romance if I just learned to become more attentive or more motivated or whatever the hell her warped mind was expecting at the time. I guess what prompted me to keep contacting her was the sheer abruptness of the breakup and the way the entire relationship messed with my psyche.
The more I tried to seek answers or ask her to reflect on her role in the demise of our relationship, the colder and nastier she became. I eventually stopped talking to her until I received an email out of the blue, asking if we could be friends. When I agreed, her first order of business as my "friend" was to demand that I let her sell some furniture that 1) she abandoned months prior 2) she agreed to let me keep so that I could live more comfortably in the apartment. When I refused, she said the cruelest and most disgusting things about my terminally ill father just to get a reaction.
Reading about BPD has helped me make sense of a lot of things (as much as you make sense of a disordered mind) but I still can't fathom how a person can completely vilify a loved one, rewrite history in the blink of an eye, and dispose of that person like trash.
I guess the purpose of my post is to vent and perhaps find some consolation in similar experiences.
