Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
October 31, 2024, 06:41:45 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
> Topic:
Just realized mother aged 76 has BPD Behavior more and more erratic
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Just realized mother aged 76 has BPD Behavior more and more erratic (Read 445 times)
luvyoga
Fewer than 3 Posts
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 2
Just realized mother aged 76 has BPD Behavior more and more erratic
«
on:
September 14, 2017, 12:07:15 PM »
Hi, Just realized I have a 'family' among children of parents with BPD. It's the validation that you never want, but you know you needed. Is there a listing of local support groups? Her behavior is getting worse by the day and even though we now know what is wrong, she still stays 1 step ahead in the plotting and manipulation. Today's trick was to get extensive facial plastic and neck surgery. Her heart and soul are still rotten no matter what her face looks like.
Logged
coola
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 14
Re: Just realized mother aged 76 has BPD Behavior more and more erratic
«
Reply #1 on:
September 14, 2017, 12:41:46 PM »
I just figured out my mom has it too, and other relatives. It's hard. It's jaw dropping. It's not easy. It rocks your world. I just read and read and read and finally pieced it together. My mom is near your mom's age and she's getting worse and worse too. I think as they age, they feel vulnerable, less in control and more out of control, and that brings out their fear of abandonment tremendously. So they are much more reactive. I'm going through the same thing, though when I reflect back on my life, I see it was always there. I just didn't know it. It's just worse now.
It's painful to be a daughter of BPD mom. I know all the struggles and am still trying to make sense of it all myself.
I'm taking it day by day. Sending you peace and comfort. I find knowing has its negatives and positives. I do feel like I now know I'm not the troubled one. That's relief, but its painful to know she really is.
Logged
luvyoga
Fewer than 3 Posts
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 2
Re: Just realized mother aged 76 has BPD Behavior more and more erratic
«
Reply #2 on:
September 14, 2017, 03:21:53 PM »
Thank you for replying, yes so many signs over so many years, the physical and verbal abuse, only told I was hated, never told I was loved. I always convinced myself that she did love me though, and now I have to be hurt all over again to know that she truly does not and cannot! Wow! The pain of that is hard to bear. It's hard, too because my sister 'the good' one cut her off completely when she left for college, so I worked all these years to be the good one, I was only being played. My sister disassociated early on and and had an entirely different relationship with my mom as she was the golden child. At least my sister validates me even though she has very few memories of childhood, she remembers more the physical and verbal abuse my mom heaped on my Dad which continues to this day, we always say it's the war of the roses with them. Now I know why! Just trying to outrun the fiery darts and dull the sting when they do hit meanwhile putting myself in the firing range to help my dad.
Logged
coola
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 14
Re: Just realized mother aged 76 has BPD Behavior more and more erratic
«
Reply #3 on:
September 14, 2017, 04:40:45 PM »
Your situation sounds like mine -- the favorite one left my mom too. I tried to please her, endlessly. I was played too. My dad is still stuck in the abuse too. That's good to have a sister who can validate you. I went back to people who knew me as a child and asked their memories. The first person I asked talked about saying what did you remember about my home life when you were in my life (good or bad). They quickly identified unfair blame and manipulation. I was stunned. I had forgot the memories this person shared with me. Bless you for trying to help you dad. That's a really hard one because they are so under the BPDs spell.
Logged
Tolly
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 0
Re: Just realized mother aged 76 has BPD Behavior more and more erratic
«
Reply #4 on:
September 15, 2017, 01:27:04 AM »
I'm in a similar situation. My dad passed away 2 years ago and mums behaviour has got worse since. I always knew there was something wrong but only recently found a book about BPD and realised this described my mum. My sister moved away and she is the golden child. I have always tried my best but never good enough. Things came to a head with a recent outburst so I have now found a therapist to help me, as I don't know what to do next. I want to support mum, but she doesn't accept there is anything wrong with her, and at 76 I doubt she can change, however the stress is making me ill so something has to change. She controlled my dad all the Tim's they were married and is now trying to control me.
Logged
coola
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 14
Re: Just realized mother aged 76 has BPD Behavior more and more erratic
«
Reply #5 on:
September 15, 2017, 10:51:48 AM »
Just know you are not alone. We are going through the same thing and its challenging. But we can only do so much. They have tied ours hands literally behind our back and covered our mouths with duct tape when you really think about it.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
> Topic:
Just realized mother aged 76 has BPD Behavior more and more erratic
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...