Will Ex BPD Always Make Contact?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

My BPD Narcissist ex boyfriend broke up with me last December. However, even after getting into a new relationship he would continually reach out. He basically strung me along for an additional 9 months. I'm wondering if contact will ever stop? Especially now that some of his lies have unraveled. (The biggest being the girl he cheated on me with has had his baby).

Now, I did receive a "do not contact me" text last Monday. He sent this only after his horrible baby momma had lashed out at me via text using his phone. In fact, she is the only reason I discovered he'd had a newborn child. Despite his goodbye message, however, my ex has since hacked my Facebook. I've changed my password, but his behavior has left me beyond confused. Personally, I just want the manipulation to end. I'm tired of being an emotional yo-yo; tired of my heart continually breaking.

Will he ever stop reaching out? My therapist and psychiatrist seem to think not. That he has a pattern. Still, I wonder if me knowing about his new child will make him forget me permanently? If not, how long before he finds another way to reach me? What should I expect? Will he even try to recycle me? Or will it just be abusive? I want to know so I can mentally and emotionally prepare myself. Anybody have any advice?

[JWebb88]

My BPD Narcissist ex boyfriend broke up with me last December. However, even after getting into a new relationship he would continually reach out. He basically strung me along for an additional 9 months. I'm wondering if contact will ever stop? Especially now that some of his lies have unraveled. (The biggest being the girl he cheated on me with has had his baby).

Now, I did receive a "do not contact me" text last Monday. He sent this only after his horrible baby momma had lashed out at me via text using his phone. In fact, she is the only reason I discovered he'd had a newborn child. Despite his goodbye message, however, my ex has since hacked my Facebook. I've changed my password, but his behavior has left me beyond confused. Personally, I just want the manipulation to end. I'm tired of being an emotional yo-yo; tired of my heart continually breaking.

Will he ever stop reaching out? My therapist and psychiatrist seem to think not. That he has a pattern. Still, I wonder if me knowing about his new child will make him forget me permanently? If not, how long before he finds another way to reach me? What should I expect? Will he even try to recycle me? Or will it just be abusive? I want to know so I can mentally and emotionally prepare myself. Anybody have any advice?

[Kelli Cornett]

Breaking into your personal accounts? Maybe get a restraining order. If you see a pattern it's likely it will repeat.

[JWebb88]

Breaking into your personal accounts? Maybe get a restraining order. If you see a pattern it's likely it will repeat.

That's what I'm afraid of, especially since his new "baby momma" is an unhinged individual in her own right. To prepare myself for any funny business, I've started saving screenshots of all texts messages received by my ex's number. So far, I haven't received any communication since last week. Additionally, I've blocked his number and all texts go into my blocked folder. I suppose I'm being hyper vigilant now since circumstances have changed and the enormity of his betrayal, his sheer remorselessness, has hit me like a ton of bricks.

I guess you are right: if push comes to shove, I'll have evidence of stalking. I can then file a restraining order  if need be. (Better to be safe than sorry, right?) Still, I'm hoping I'll be forgotten while the ex is in the midst of his new baby momma drama mess. As much as I somehow miss him, I think being forgotten is preferable to being toyed with any further. I suppose time will tell if I'll have to take any legal action or not. Hopefully, it will not come to that.

[Harley Quinn]

He can only affect you in the future as much as you allow him to, so spend now taking good care of yourself, grieving, detaching and healing.  Build yourself back up and move on with your life.  He will pose little or no threat to you when you are emotionally healthy and living a full and happy life.  Only people who also engage in recycle can be recycled.  It's a two man job.  Remember Skip's skunk-hole insights.  Those things are never going to change or be undone.  This should spur you on to let go and seek far more for yourself.  You do not belong in a skunk-hole.  We can help keep you out as long as that (staying out of one) is what you aspire to.

Have you taken a look at the Lessons HERE?

Love and light x 

[JWebb88]

He can only affect you in the future as much as you allow him to, so spend now taking good care of yourself, grieving, detaching and healing.  Build yourself back up and move on with your life.  He will pose little or no threat to you when you are emotionally healthy and living a full and happy life.  Only people who also engage in recycle can be recycled.  It's a two man job.  Remember Skip's skunk-hole insights.  Those things are never going to change or be undone.  This should spur you on to let go and seek far more for yourself.  You do not belong in a skunk-hole.  We can help keep you out as long as that (staying out of one) is what you aspire to.

Have you taken a look at the Lessons HERE?

Love and light x  

Thank you for your advice. I am currently in therapy to heal. I also have become more proactive in regards to my ex by finally blocking his number etc. Hopefully, I do not get suckered into a recycle if he ever approaches me. As things currently stand, I don't think he ever will. His drama with the new girlfriend is most likely creating feelings of intense shame, which will make approaching me seem impossible to him.

I'll also look over the "Lessons" section of the website. Try to follow its guidelines, so I can heal. It is time I start looking forward as opposed to looking backward. There's nothing for me in the past anymore. He chose a different road and, now, I must journey alone.

Again, thank you so much for your input. It was much appreciated.

[Harley Quinn]

JW, you're not alone.  We're right by your side.  As long as you need or want us to be. 

Love and light x

[JWebb88]

JW, you're not alone.  We're right by your side.  As long as you need or want us to be. 

Love and light x

Thank you