Our path and letting go

[PaticAttack]

Im off to work in a minute but wanted to share an article I read on the Elephant Journal's website titled "why we struggle so much to let go of certain people".  It was what I need to read!  I have been struggling with the letting go part and when I read that I do not need to let go of the love I felt for my pwBPD, it was wonderful.  We all have our own paths in life, what I did not realize, was that I was wanting someone to walk my path with me to the end.  That is not the way it works and I was just shown this through meditation.  Our paths intersect with all kinds of people, I am actually not alone but it is my path to walk alone.  I was also shown that I am able to travel back along that path and in a way forward on that path.  Walking back I was able to see past relationships in a new light, a non judgmental light, with a thankful heart for ALL of the people who have come and gone.  ALL who have touched me deeply, All who have hurt me, ALL of the loves that I thought I lost.  They are ALL still there with old lessons and new lessons.  Mostly the lesson for me is acceptance and forgiveness.  Many more people will intersect along my path, but I must realize that it is still solely my path.  I do have a hard time opening my heart to most people  but what I know know is that I do not have to let go of that love, I do not own love or another human.  I accept my expwBPD, she has a different path to walk then mine.  She has changed my life for the better and I will be forever grateful to her for that.  Yes, my heart still hurts that I can't have the long healthy relationship with her that I wanted.  Her path is a difficult path and if there was a way that I could magically remove some of the thorn bushes that have overtaken it, I would. 

Cheers!

[pearlsw]

Hi PaticAttack, Wow! What a beautifully written post! I hope a lot of people see it. I have always sort of been this way with past relationships, but I don't think I've articulated it so clearly and with such simple beauty. I think this is incredibly enlightened and very comforting. I am going to save a copy to reread! Thank you for sharing this!

I'm more pulled towards buddhism, but my partner is Muslim and he lives by the notion of being grateful for all that God gives him - the good and the bad. He accepts it all without judgement. It is pretty impressive actually. I think that is why he was able to survive his past really difficult relationship experience. Of course, I don't want to pretend, he also took a lot from that past out on me and that is why I am here, but you know what... .your post reminds me to be grateful even for that - for my own chance to learn and be a better person even in the face of such BIG challenges.

wishing you peace!

[PaticAttack]

Thank you pear!  It was a wonderful vision, to bad I'm on a damn emotional rollercoaster. It's very hard to keep the positive in mind. And of course, when I feel positive, I try reaching out only to get my hand slapped. Ugh!

[once removed]

hi PaticAttack,

i want to echo pearlsw that this is an inspiring post, and i think at four months out, its a remarkable attitude. these are hard lessons; excruciating.  ive seen a lot of recoveries, and i would say that bitterness is once of the biggest hindrances. to let go of that will take you far.