I think that the truth is to be found in our dark emotions such as envy and despising someone

[unicorn2014]

I think that the truth is to be found in our dark emotions such as envy and despising someone. If you do DBT you find out those are valid emotions. For example as I have talked about in my previous post hatred is a valid emotion showing that our values have been violated. Also those who have complex PTSD may have narcissistic defenses, we may have learned to "out narc the narc" as unhealthy as that is. There is a lot of good information out there about complex PTSD. Have you ever come across that term before?

[morningagain]

I think that the truth is to be found in our dark emotions such as envy and despising someone. If you do DBT you find out those are valid emotions. For example as I have talked about in my previous post hatred is a valid emotion showing that our values have been violated. Also those who have complex PTSD may have narcissistic defenses, we may have learned to "out narc the narc" as unhealthy as that is. There is a lot of good information out there about complex PTSD. Have you ever come across that term before?

wut?
how about, what is good is what is right, and what is bad is what is wrong.

[unicorn2014]

wut?
how about, what is good is what is right, and what is bad is what is wrong.

DBT stands for dialectical behavior therapy, and is the primary treatment tool for BPD although it useful for family  members as well. It teaches us not to judge our emotions and that there is a purpose for all of them. There are no bad emotions, there are just painful ones, however they serve a purpose. They let us know when our boundaries have been violated, kind of like touching a hot stove.

[Harley Quinn]

That's a good description unicorn!  DBT is based around mindfulness, which I practice.  Mindfulness means:

Paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, and non judgementally.

When it comes to paying attention to our emotions, you are exactly right in that it's important not to judge our feelings as good or bad, right or wrong.  They just ARE.  And that is OK.  Accepting these and allowing them to be welcome without attempting to push them away lessens our discomfort and allows us to face these feelings which in turn encourages them to move on more quickly and healthily than if we were to repress them. 

It can be hard, as we are all influenced by our upbringing and moral codes of society about whether it's acceptable to be furious, for example.  If we take that fury and turn it into destructive behaviour that is not a healthy way to deal with it.  Rather than viewing it as a 'negative' emotion though, and rejecting it, it's healthier to accept that we can all feel fury and it is a valid emotion.  Taking this approach allows the feeling to pass more freely and we are cleared of it, rather than carrying it with us as extra baggage. 

Learning to accept ourselves as we are without judgement can be a really tough task.  Once mastered it is very freeing and can give us better perspective and approach to difficult situations, allowing for clarity of mind and emotion and enabling us to manage these more consciously in a healthy way - through recognition of our inner state, rather than denial or failing to know what we are feeling or how it affects us.

It is worth noting that thoughts are often confused with feelings and it is worth taking time and practice to separate out the two, in order to get to the core feeling and acknowledge that. 

Do you have C-PTSD unicorn and do you feel that the 'dark' emotions you describe have more validity than your other emotions in your healing?

For me, a big one was relief.  A deep and profound feeling of relief.

Love and light x

[unicorn2014]

I don't know if I still meet the diagnostic criteria for PTSD or not, I am able to support myself, which is one definition of not having a disability, but I may still medically have one. I had complex PTSD about 10 years ago.

In terms of validity, all emotions are valid.