Broke no contact

[Pencil sketch]

 Hi, my relationship with my partner ended. It was very acrimonious, and I have now gone full no contact, after stupidly getting in touch.
I have my answers, she is very damaged. I regret not taking the advice of others, but can now move on. I have an anxiety disorder, which kicks in when this happens, how do I deal with the feelings?
The hardest, is knowing she has moved on, and told me very explicitly, what she was doing with her new partner, and now I am left with these awful images.
Any advice would be welcome.

[Harley Quinn]

Hi Pencil sketch,

How long have you been NC?  I'm sorry to hear that she gave you these details.  Please bear in mind that in that moment her only intention was to hurt you out of anger and pain.  It may have been in a bid to see how much you cared and how willing you were to 'fight for her'.  I know, this is a strange way to do that, but it does fit with the type of thing my ex would say to get a rise out of me.  He would intentionally try to invoke jealousy as a sign of my love for him when all else failed. 

She possibly did not even do anything she described.  It could be a total fabrication.  What is important here is that you have the power to decide if her aim is met or not.  Do you let this plague you or do you prevent yourself from ruminating on it and focus your attention elsewhere?  The best place I would suggest is placing it on yourself.  What can you do right now to make your anxiety more manageable, for example?  Are you receiving help and support with this, and if so do you feel it is time for a review and some additional support?  How do you normally manage your symptoms?

Love and light x