Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
April 21, 2025, 01:25:12 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
81
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Broke no contact  (Read 463 times)
Pencil sketch
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 206


« on: November 22, 2017, 04:15:35 AM »

 Hi, my relationship with my partner ended. It was very acrimonious, and I have now gone full no contact, after stupidly getting in touch.
I have my answers, she is very damaged. I regret not taking the advice of others, but can now move on. I have an anxiety disorder, which kicks in when this happens, how do I deal with the feelings?
The hardest, is knowing she has moved on, and told me very explicitly, what she was doing with her new partner, and now I am left with these awful images.
Any advice would be welcome.
Logged

Harley Quinn
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2839


I am exactly where I need to be, right now.


« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2017, 04:03:10 PM »

Hi Pencil sketch,

How long have you been NC?  I'm sorry to hear that she gave you these details.  Please bear in mind that in that moment her only intention was to hurt you out of anger and pain.  It may have been in a bid to see how much you cared and how willing you were to 'fight for her'.  I know, this is a strange way to do that, but it does fit with the type of thing my ex would say to get a rise out of me.  He would intentionally try to invoke jealousy as a sign of my love for him when all else failed. 

She possibly did not even do anything she described.  It could be a total fabrication.  What is important here is that you have the power to decide if her aim is met or not.  Do you let this plague you or do you prevent yourself from ruminating on it and focus your attention elsewhere?  The best place I would suggest is placing it on yourself.  What can you do right now to make your anxiety more manageable, for example?  Are you receiving help and support with this, and if so do you feel it is time for a review and some additional support?  How do you normally manage your symptoms?

Love and light x

 
Logged

We are stars wrapped in skin.  The light you are looking for has always been within.
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!