BPD mothers?

I'm only 15, and at this present time, dealing with a lot of emotional stress because of my mother.
I guess because of this I can't really articulate my thoughts very well at the moment. If anyone knows this feeling, please write back.
It's comforting to know that there's a community based on such an intimate part of my life and I'd love to reach out to anyone whos having a hard time too.

Quick synopsis: My parents (mother especially) have passive aggressive and sometimes downright aggressive behavior. Our fights normally circulate around housework and both me and my sister are constantly made to feel indebted to them and guilty for being their children. Housework is used as a kind of power trip in my household. My mother will often stop what we're doing, most of the time when it's really important (schoolwork, emails what have you) and gets us to carry out some totally unnecessary task. I know that she is a very insecure woman, and projects a lot of her shame onto us. She has issues with drinking (she was an alcoholic) and even has personal vendettas against some of my closest friends for no reason (since I was quite young as well). As I am getting older I realize how rude of a person she is, and to literally everyone. I've had shopkeepers literally come up to me and ask me if my mum is alright, the same shopkeeper in this example then went up to my mum and commented on how polite I was to which my mother just snorted. It is rare that she gets physical with us (thankfully) but both my sister and I have had some experiences before where she has. When I was 6 she struck me and when my sister was also younger, was pulled by the hair. To my memory, both of these incidents were the result of some tiff about doing something and us not doing it. But as we've grown older power has come to us in small doses from the closure of actual professionals telling us that our mother is abusive and may well be suffering from BPD. With this power, we've been able to set up boundaries for ourselves and talk to each other whenever we're going through a hard time. But it feels like our mum catches on to our resentment quite quickly and can be either needy or mean in return.

I guess I ended up writing a lot more than I thought. I'm sorry if I come across as ungrateful or unappreciative. I really do want the best for my mum but I doubt she can see anything wrong with herself.
To whoever is going through something similar, you're not alone. That's a feeling that has only really surfaced for me because I've allowed myself to feel bad about it and give in to my feelings. It's still nice to talk about it though. My house is so suffocating and I always feel unsafe and as if I'm walking on eggshells.



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