I know they move on fast, but this fast?

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Long story short... .

My current BPD wife had no rights to her 2 children as she just left them... .(She never put it like this, she had a much different story)

So for about 2 years I helped her get at least partial custody.

I have a 5 yr old son and she is his step mom. They became very close.

So her kids were about to come for Christmas.  They met my son many times, stayed together, all got along very well... Miss each other.

I was with my wife Dec 15th.  We have been having lots of sex, "in love" etc. Planning this Christmas holiday. She said she had to go to her moms the next day.

I did not hear much from her next couple of days, but she was starting fights with me...

Dec 18 I saw her with another man who dropping her off...

I found out she just moved into his house.

Now I spoke to my wife's ex husband, and she just told her kids on the phone that they have a new step brother step sister and step dad!

Needless to say he is upset, and I am totally shocked.

[Husband321]

Long story short... .

My current BPD wife had no rights to her 2 children as she just left them... .(She never put it like this, she had a much different story)

So for about 2 years I helped her get at least partial custody.

I have a 5 yr old son and she is his step mom. They became very close.

So her kids were about to come for Christmas.  They met my son many times, stayed together, all got along very well... Miss each other.

I was with my wife Dec 15th.  We have been having lots of sex, "in love" etc. Planning this Christmas holiday. She said she had to go to her moms the next day.

I did not hear much from her next couple of days, but she was starting fights with me...

Dec 18 I saw her with another man who dropping her off...

I found out she just moved into his house.

Now I spoke to my wife's ex husband, and she just told her kids on the phone that they have a new step brother step sister and step dad!

Needless to say he is upset, and I am totally shocked.

[Harley Quinn]

That is sudden.  I'm so sorry to hear you've had this news.  You must be distraught.  I feel for you.    

I take it there was no indication for you that this was going on?  If it has come as a total shock I can imagine that it has knocked you for six.  Perhaps the fact the Christmas is centred around kids will allow you to somewhat distract yourself a little with the festivities and put yourself on autopilot whilst you begin to process this.  Try to hang in there and post as much as you need.  We're here for you.

Love and light x         

[Bo123]

Yes they are very quick in replacing what they see as useless, but no doubt in my mind this had been a work in progress for some time and you just didn't know.  Sorry to say but I'd put big money on it.  Anyway its not good, it hurts, not fair and its going to at least put a damper on your xmas.  Sorry you're going through this, clearly this hurts like hell.  Wish you the best.

[Husband321]

I actually bumped into this man at Walmart.  I talked to him for a couple hours.

They actually met for the first time Monday.  (2 days before she moved in with him)But we're corresponding online for a while it seems.

She told him many lies.  Of course.  I showed him photos, texts, emails from her showing that she was professing love and physically with me just 3 days prior.

He seemingly was already in a fog and seemingly already hooked by her.

I believe she has a fe men on the hook like this and not just him.

Last night she must have unblocked me and sent me threatening texts that I put her sisters number on some website?   Completely untrue and just bizarre. But she said I will be sued for this.

[Harley Quinn]

Oh dear H321.  Seems you're really in the thick of it presently.  Is she still living with this guy and how did your conversation end with him?  How are you feeling right now?  If you suspect she is grooming more than one man, would you say this alters your perspective on things regards your own r/s with her and thoughts about the future?

Love and light x

[Tobiasfunke]

I’m sorry 321. Circle the wagons for the kiddos. Lick your wounds when the storm passes. Don’t beat yourself up she is not a healthy person. Stay cool the holidays are stressful enough. Lean on your friends and these boards to stay strong and clear of any legal issues she maybe concocting. You will rise above all this in time.

[Husband321]

It's just impossible.

She was caught cheating, moved in with a man, and has hatred towards me. My son was looking forward to seeing her children.  And vice versa.

It's hard not to look back and see so many weird type situations that looked like cheating, but I chalked up to different reasons.

Of course not one apology.  Nothing.  Just saying she hates me.  Hates me. Etc.

And a still blame myself at times.  For example I was supposed to meet her the same exact day she met this man.  (7 days ago). 

But at the end of the day I feel she was seeing other people anyway

[Harley Quinn]

H321, what would you ideally like to see happen if you could have things your way?  I'm sure you have explained to your son in an age appropriate way that things will be different to planned.  How do you feel though?  Try not to go down the self blame route.  Nobody is ever entirely to blame in a r/s going south.  It takes two people, and her behaviour is her own.  Failing to meet her is certainly not a good enough reason to move in with someone.  What do you feel your next steps need to be now in light of all of this?

Love and light x

[Husband321]

I feel I need to move on and file for divorce.

It's just very difficult after being with someone 24 7 for 2 years.  But it was always chaotic with just small times of joy. The lack of closure is tough.

I also blew it up and told everyone. Her sister. Mom. Ex husband.

It did make me feel better to talk to her ex.  As he told me she did this to him off and on for 10 years.  Would disappear, move in with a man, get pregnant, have abortions.  Return etc.

Just a small part of me still thinks "what if I was more calm" etc. ". But it was just very difficult to live day to day wondering if your wife will disappear.  Get upset.  Angry. 

At this point still remember a week ago hearing I am the "love of her life". And she wants to "grow old with me"